


What Dreams May Bring

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 20:54:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18373907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Hephaestion comes to Bagoas’ rescue on more than one occasion and a new relationship begins to form between them.





	What Dreams May Bring

What Dreams May Bring

 

“No, please do not do this! I beg of you!” 

A haunted voice reached Hephaestion, who was on his way to his tent. Alexander was away, scouting ahead and clearing the way for them and it was his duty to keep the caravan safe. Hearing the distraught voice clearer now, he listened intently, trying to distinguish from which tent the yelps were coming from. 

“Have mercy! Do not do this to me!”

The pleading continued and Hephaestion thought he recognized the voice now. Was it Bagoas? Who was the boy pleading with? Bagoas tended to sleep in Alexander’s tent, even when the King was away, so Hephaestion headed there now. His steps quickened, hearing the frantic tone in the boy’s voice. Was someone in the tent with him? Someone who was hurting him? 

Hephaestion pushed the curtain aside and stepped into Alexander’s tent. His eyes quickly searched his surroundings and he realized that they were alone. Bagoas was curled up on the bed, shaking like a leaf and still pleading with some unknown enemy. 

“Do not hurt me in this way! I will do anything you want me to!” Bagoas squirmed on the bed and raised his hands, as if fighting off some invisible attacker. 

Hephaestion shuffled his feet, not certain what to do. Bagoas and he tolerated each other, but that was about it. They had been enemies from the start, trying to make Alexander love one of them the most. In the back of his mind, Hephaestion had always known they were doomed to fail. Aye, Alexander loved him dearly and they had long ago exchanged vows of love and devotion, but that didn’t stop his lover from seeking out comfort in Bagoas’ arms. He had learned to accept that. 

“No!” 

A scream ripped through the tent and it urged Hephaestion into action. He knew little of Bagoas’ history, except that the boy was a eunuch and some part of him had always remained curious. Bagoas was beautiful, even *he* admitted to that, but there was more to the dark-haired boy than met the eye. Pride shone from the dark eyes, but never arrogance. Pride and love – love for Alexander. And now Bagoas was screaming out in terror. 

Hephaestion carefully seated himself on the side of the bed and tried to catch a glimpse of Bagoas’ face, which was obscured by long, raven hair. Cocking his head, he looked closer and made out tears that flowed down the cheeks. Why was the boy crying? 

/Boy… Bagoas is no longer a boy. He is becoming a man./ Alexander would never have taken a mere boy into his bed. But Bagoas, in spite of his tender age, possessed wisdom and intelligence – two qualities Alexander had always appreciated.

“Do not hurt me… There is blood…” 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and placed his right hand on the raven hair, stroking the strands. “All is well. You are safe here.” He didn’t know what nightmare haunted Bagoas’ dreams, but was determined to do what he could to soothe him during Alexander’s absence. Alexander had once told the eldest daughter of King Darius that he was Alexander too. Now he had to act the part and reach out to his rival. 

Bagoas whimpered and then moved closer to him. “Protect me from them!”

Hephaestion still didn’t know what frightened Bagoas and he felt somewhat uncomfortable consoling his rival, but he continued to stroke the silken hair. “I will protect you. You are safe with me. You don’t have to be scared. No one will harm you.”

“But they did… They hurt me.” Bagoas’ eyelids fluttered and opened. Still in the clutches of his nightmare, his brain showed him Alexander sitting there and not Hephaestion. He needed Alexander at his side and his subconscious provided him with the King’s image. “They tied me to that horrible contraption, took a knife, and cut me open. How can I be safe from them when they continue to hurt me in my dreams?”

Taken back by the lucidity in Bagoas’ eyes, Hephaestion wondered why the other man was telling him something so personal. Bagoas had woken from his nightmare, and although remnants of that dream still lingered in his dark eyes, they were lucid as well. “Bagoas, it was a dream. They aren’t really here.” But he also knew that his words were hollow; Bagoas had suffered terribly in the past and he now knew what event had come back to haunt the eunuch. 

“Do you know what they did with my testicles? After cutting them out, they fed them to the dogs. They used a needle and yarn to close my wounds. The pain was terrible.” Bagoas would never have admitted to that pain had he been fully aware of his situation. But a part of him believed that he was still asleep and that this ‘dream-Alexander’ was here to comfort him. Had he known it was Hephaestion stroking his hair, he would have lunged for him and thrown him out of Alexander’s tent. His fury would have given him the strength to do so!

Hephaestion’s breath caught, hearing Bagoas’ heart-rending history. He had always thought that it had hurt terribly, but he had never considered the emotional damage done to Bagoas. “They had no right to do that to you.” What had seeing the dogs eat those parts of him done to Bagoas? “This haunts you still. When did this happen?” In spite of his jealousy, which he felt the most when Bagoas lay with Alexander, he was also curious. 

“I was ten… I am sixteen now,” Bagoas replied, feeling strangely calm because ‘Alexander’ was calm. He placed his hand on the other man’s knee and gave him a pleading look. 

Hephaestion understood Bagoas’ mute plea. “You do not want to be alone the rest of the night.”

“Will you hold me?” Maybe then the nightmare would leave him alone. He didn’t have them that often, but some nights they would return and torment him. 

Hephaestion considered the request. The last thing he wanted to do was to comfort his rival, but Alexander had entrusted all members of this caravan to him and that included Bagoas. Searching his heart, Hephaestion also realized that he didn’t want Bagoas to suffer another nightmare; he had already been subjected to too much pain. What did surprise him was the fact that Bagoas wanted him to stay. /I always thought you hated me./ 

“Al’skander?” Bagoas’ heart missed a beat now that the other man wasn’t lying down. Had he asked for too much?

Hephaestion finally received his answer. /He thinks I am Alexander, but how can he possibly mistake me for him?/ He leaned in closer to study the brown eyes and found them hooded, misted over with pain and memories. /He isn’t as awake as I thought. He is still half-sleep./ 

Bagoas’ sleep-heavy eyes continued to plead with him and Hephaestion found that he couldn’t deny the younger man. Had something that horrible happened to him, he would have liked to have someone comfort him as well. How odd that he hadn’t known about Bagoas’ nightmares. Not once before had he heard the younger man call out. 

Hephaestion removed his sword and placed it on the floor, making certain it was always close to him in case of a surprise attack. Then, he pushed back the thin blanket that covered Bagoas’ trembling form and slid into place beside him. The moment he opened his arms, Bagoas moved into them and pressed close. Feeling protective of the eunuch, Hephaestion tucked the raven head beneath his chin and wrapped Bagoas in a hug. He used his warm, woolen cloak as an additional blanket; Bagoas’ skin felt icy cold beneath his fingertips. 

“You can sleep safely now, Bagoas. No one will hurt you. I will stand guard.” Holding Bagoas in his arms didn’t feel quite as awkward as he thought it would. It even felt right – comfortable – and for one moment he envied Alexander, who had Bagoas’ unconditional love.

“Thank you,” whispered Bagoas. His eyes closed and he surrendered to the sleep which still tugged at his mind. The last thing he did before drifting off into the land of dreams was return the hold the other man had on him, pulling Hephaestion close. Feeling warm and safe, the nightmare was kept at a distance and let him sleep peacefully. 

“I will stay awake,” promised Hephaestion. His breath caressed Bagoas’ hair and he even smiled into the raven locks, grateful that the younger man accepted his presence. Bagoas thought it was Alexander holding him, and in a way, it was. 

~~~

Commotion coming from the outside told Hephaestion that morning had come. Also, the first rays of the sun had reached the tent, warming the air around them. It was time for him to leave, but Hephaestion found that he didn’t want to leave yet. Bagoas felt warm in his arms and fit perfectly against him. Had someone told him that he would one day feel jealous of Alexander for having Bagoas’ love, he would have declared them insane. And yet, it was happening. He didn’t want to let go. 

But he had to. He couldn’t afford Bagoas waking up when he was still in bed with him. Bagoas wouldn’t react well to finding him so close – holding him. Certainly not when the younger man was under the impression that it had been Alexander holding him through the night. 

Hephaestion made an attempt to free himself of Bagoas’ hold, praying that the younger man wouldn’t wake in the process. But Bagoas had wrapped himself tightly around him and was clutching the fabric of his cloak. He had no other choice than to desert his cloak and leave it behind. After several tedious minutes of carefully freeing himself from Bagoas’ arms, he moved away from the younger man. He sat upright on the side of the bed and eyed the fingers which still clutched his cloak. Retrieving his cloak without waking Bagoas was impossible and Hephaestion admitted defeat. He had to leave his cloak behind. 

/Alexander loves you and I am beginning to understand what fascinates him about you./ He carefully raised a hand and stroked the raven mane. “I hope the nightmares will leave you alone in the future.” He didn’t realize what he was doing until he leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto Bagoas’ hair. His eyes widened and shone with his surprise. Had he really kissed that ebony hair? 

Hephaestion shook his head, trying to clear it from all these disturbing and confusing questions. He got to his feet and walked over to the curtain. Before pushing it aside, he cast one more look at Bagoas from over his shoulder. The eunuch was still asleep, wrapped up tightly in his cloak. /I hope he never finds out it was I who comforted him last night. Things would only become more awkward./ Matters were already strained between the two of them. He pushed back the curtain and exited the tent, ready to attend to his daily duties.

~~~

Bagoas opened his eyes and stared at the fabric of the tent, moving above him. A breeze was toying with the material, playfully trying to knock the tent down. But Bagoas wasn’t concerned; he felt safe, which was quite a surprise, considering the nightmares he’d had. The dreams had grown less intense over the years, but sometimes, like now, when Alexander was away, they would creep back up on him. He would feel terrorized, alone and vulnerable. Although a part of him knew that it was only a nightmare, he vividly remembered being strapped down and cut. It had happened. It had been real once – was still real in his mind. 

Last night had been exceptionally bad. Alexander had told him that he would be away for one week at the least and his thoughts had been troubled by that. When he had lain down to sleep, the nightmares had reappeared. /But Alexander was here. He held me close./ But where was the King now? 

Bagoas propped himself up on an elbow and frowned; something heavy was covering him. It wasn’t his blanket – there was a cloak as well and it wasn’t Alexander’s. Alexander’s wardrobe was limited and Bagoas was certain that he had never seen such a cloak on the King before. The cloak was made of black wool, lined with red. His eyes narrowed, realizing that he had seen this cloak before, but back then, Hephaestion had worn it, not Alexander. So what was Hephaestion’s cloak doing here?

His head reeled. Rationally, he knew that Alexander couldn’t have been here during the night. He was miles away, eliminating all dangers that lay ahead of the caravan. But who had been here? Who had comforted him? Not Alexander. Bagoas stared at the cloak, not wanting to believe he had reached the right conclusion. It couldn’t have been Hephaestion! They barely tolerated each other! Why would Alexander’s beloved Hephaestion reach out to him? Because of the nightmare? But no, Hephaestion wouldn’t have interfered. /Or would he?/ 

There was only one way to obtain the answers he wanted and that was by asking Hephaestion. The last thing he wanted to do, however, was to confront the older man. If Hephaestion really *had* reached out to him, the other man knew what had been done to him and how the merchant had castrated him. He vividly remembered the words he had spoken last night. He had pleaded with Hephaestion to hold him, but had been under the impression that it had been Alexander at his side. 

The cloak, nevertheless, was the evidence that Hephaestion had been here and, no matter how much he hated returning the cloak, he should do so. He could take the coward’s way out and have a servant deliver it to Hephaestion’s tent, but he had never been a coward. He prided himself on facing all problems head on. Well, if that was the case, he didn’t really have a choice – he had to deliver the cloak himself. But first, he would wash up and dress in clothes that didn’t stink of sweat. His whole body was covered in cold sweat – a legacy of his nightmare.

~~~

Bagoas waited until the evening to seek out Hephaestion’s tent. He had tried visiting with the older man during the day, but Hephaestion had been away, busy organizing the caravan. He felt oddly nervous, approaching Hephaestion’s tent, which was guarded by two of his most loyal guards. 

“Stop.” One guard eyed him closely. “What do you want?” 

Bagoas easily read the disgust in the soldier’s eyes. To them, he was little more than a woman and they treated him like that, showing him no respect at all. Throughout the years, he had learned not to let such behavior get to him. “I am here to return this to General Hephaestion.” 

The soldier’s eyes traveled to the cloak and then back to his face. “Give it to me. I will return it to him.”

“I would like to return it to him in person.” If Hephaestion had really guarded his sleep, he wanted to know why. 

“Give it to me and leave, eunuch. Hephaestion has little love for you and you know it,” spat the guard.

“What is this noise about?” Hephaestion, who had tried to rest, stepped out of his tent and froze, seeing Bagoas standing there, carrying his cloak. 

“I merely told the eunuch to give me your cloak and that I would return it to you. We all know that you do not wish to be bothered by the likes of him.” The soldier felt cocky now that Hephaestion had appeared. Maybe he had even wanted to impress Hephaestion by putting Bagoas in his place, but it backfired. 

“Step inside, Bagoas.” Hephaestion shot the guard a deadly glare and parted the curtains so Bagoas could enter his tent. “I will deal with you later,” he stated, addressing the guard, who had grown pale.

Bagoas soundlessly stepped inside and remained close to the exit. “I merely want to return your cloak to you.” He’d had years to perfect his calm appearance and Hephaestion wouldn’t know what emotions raged inside him by looking at him. “I was wrapped up in it when I woke this morn. I do not know why.”

Hephaestion took hold of his cloak and draped it over a chair. Turning away from Bagoas, his fingertips caressed the material. That cloak bore Bagoas’ scent now. 

“My Lord?” asked Bagoas, addressing Hephaestion in a formal way to cause no offence. “Would you explain to me why it was wrapped around me?”

“I had hoped you would let the matter lie,” replied Hephaestion, drawing in a deep breath. “You had a nightmare and I heard you call out. I did what Alexander would have wanted me to do. I soothed you.” 

Now that his suspicions had been confirmed, Bagoas knew that the sensible thing to do was to say thank you and leave and not question Hephaestion further. But his curiosity was stronger than his common sense. “Why did you reach out to me?”

Hephaestion slowly turned around and looked into Bagoas’ coal-black eyes. “Alexander once said that I am Alexander too.”

Bagoas inclined his head. “He said so when he visited Darius’ harem.”

“He loves you,” whispered Hephaestion. It was the first time ever that he spoke those words aloud. “He would have comforted you.”

“And because he wasn’t there you reached out to me?” Bagoas looked at Hephaestion in a different way now that he knew the truth. Hephaestion had reached out to him because Alexander would have done the same. 

“Yes, what else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let those memories haunt you, not when I could stop it.” Hephaestion searched Bagoas’ eyes and wished he could read the expression in them, but Bagoas shielded his emotions well. 

“I want to thank you for what you did last night,” said Bagoas in a thoughtful voice. “I am surprised you did.”

“And I am surprised you are thanking me,” admitted Hephaestion in a soft voice. “I expected to see you storming in here and demanding I never touch you again.”

“I recognize kindness when it is given to me,” said Bagoas. “Not many people have been kind toward me, but Al’skander was, and now you, reached out to me as well.” He moistened his lips, a bit nervous to voice his request. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Al’skander about my nightmare… And please do not tell the soldiers.” They already enjoyed pestering him too much.

“My lips are sealed,” replied Hephaestion, considering Bagoas’ request. “But you should know that your screams were loud. I am certain more people heard you cry out.” The way Bagoas stood in front of him now – proud and with a certain distance in his eyes – was so very different from the way he had witnessed him last night. He had loved feeling needed. 

Bagoas remained silent for a moment. He hoped not. If those guards had heard him scream, they would use that knowledge to make him feel even more miserable. Hephaestion suddenly took a step toward him and he fought the urge to back away from the older man. Hephaestion was still clad in his uniform, wearing his breast plate and a white tunic. The auburn hair clung to the neck and shoulders, still damp from sweating in the sun all day. “Still, I am in your debt.”

“There is no debt, but…” Hephaestion hesitated, cocked his head, and wondered if his offer would be welcome. “If you are ever in need of company you are welcome to sleep here.” Bagoas’ eyes came alive with a dark fire and he quickly explained, “Sleep, Bagoas. Nothing but sleep.”

Bagoas quickly lowered his gaze. “I will never be unfaithful to Al’skander.”

“I know that, Bagoas.” Hephaestion then did something rather uncharacteristic; he raised a hand and fingered a strand of Bagoas’ black hair, twirling it around his finger. “You love him…”

“I do,” whispered Bagoas, wondering why Hephaestion was playing with a lock of his hair, but he allowed it. After all, Hephaestion had soothed him last night. “I have heard your offer and thank you for it.”

“But you are not accepting it,” said Hephaestion with a knowing smile. Bagoas didn’t want to make himself vulnerable at this point. “I understand why you decline, but please, Bagoas,” he added in a passionate voice, “remember that you can always come here if you feel lonely. I will not impose on you in any way. You can sleep here, huddled in a corner if you wish so. I have seen you sleep in that way when you wait for Alexander to return.” There was something utterly enchanting about Bagoas; the way his raven hair moved between his fingertips, the look in those depthless eyes, and the fine curve of those lips. “You truly are beautiful. I understand why Alexander loves you,” he declared in an unguarded moment. 

“You have his love as well… even more so. He loves you best.”

Hephaestion heard the pain in Bagoas’ voice only too well. “Alexander and I have been together for many years, Bagoas. There is much history between the two of us. Don’t be envious of what I have, Bagoas, for you have his love too.”

Bagoas finally took a step away from Hephaestion and the strand of raven hair slipped from Hephaestion’s fingers. “I will take my leave now, my Lord.” Bagoas bowed his head in respect and almost fled the tent. Their conversation had taken off in a direction he didn’t wish to mull over further. 

Hephaestion watched Bagoas flee his tent and frowned. Upsetting Bagoas had not been his intention. 

He longed for a long, hot bath and called the guard, telling him to fill up his bathtub. Normally he would take a swim in the nearby river, but he thought that hauling those heavy buckets filled with water would be a suitable punishment for the brash guard. He would keep an eye on his men, as he wanted to make certain that they wouldn’t intentionally hurt Bagoas. During Alexander’s absence, he would look after Bagoas.

~~~

Bagoas curled up on Alexander’s bed. The day had gone by slowly and without any incidents, for which he was grateful. He had made a point of avoiding the guards, especially the soldier who he had seen hauling buckets of water all day. One peek had told him that this was the same guard who had talked down to him. A smile had surfaced on his face as he realized that this was Hephaestion’s way of disciplining the man. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Hephaestion’s scent invaded his nostrils. The older man’s scent always lingered here, as he also shared Alexander’s bed, but the scent was much stronger now that he had slept there last night. Hephaestion’s behavior still puzzled Bagoas. 

He had considered poisoning Hephaestion when he had realized that Alexander loved Hephaestion best and his jealousy had driven him out of his mind. In the end, sanity had prevailed and he had set aside his plans. 

He didn’t want to sleep tonight. He was much too awake and his thoughts raced, still revolving around Hephaestion’s actions last night. No matter how much he wanted to hate Hephaestion, he found he no longer could.

~~~

Bagoas had grown restless during the night as sleep continued to elude him. It was close to morning when he rose from Alexander’s bed and wrapped himself in a cloak. Stepping outside, he looked about, making certain there were no guards about. Most of the soldiers were still asleep, save for the ones who had guard duty that night. In the distance the first glow announced the rising of the sun. There was a hill nearby from where he would have an excellent view of the rising sun and he decided to install himself there. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he tiptoed away from the tent. 

~~~

It was truly misfortunate that a group of soldiers, already awake, sat huddled around a fire and were sharing jokes. Bagoas noticed them too late and couldn’t detour; they had already seen him. His expression hardened, seeing that the guard who had mocked him yesterday was also among them. Hephaestion might have disciplined the soldier for his behavior, but the general wasn’t around now and Bagoas was once more subjected to their cruel jokes and harsh tone. 

“Ah, there she comes,” called out the guard in a rude tone. He hadn’t forgiven Bagoas for getting him into trouble with his general. Hephaestion had ordered him to do chores all day and he knew exactly why the general had been displeased with him. But Hephaestion wasn’t close now. Slapping a friend’s shoulder, he continued, “Our King’s bitch in person!”

Bagoas tried to ignore them, acting like he didn’t hear their rude remarks and continued to head for the hill. Turning around now would resemble flight and he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had driven him away. Keeping his head held high and with firm steps, he passed them by. 

“Oh no, you are not leaving yet!” The guard grabbed hold of Bagoas’ wrist and pulled him close.

Bagoas grew furious with the man and tried to shake him off, but the guard was determined to make him pay for last night. “Release me!” It was a shame that he didn’t carry a knife with him. He would have gladly made a ‘bitch’ of the soldier himself. But, as he was unarmed, he was rather helpless. 

“Come here. Or do you think you are too good for any of us? You are a slave, boy. Nothing but a slave, not even a man!”

The harsh comments only made Bagoas struggle harder. “Release me or you will regret…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as the guard pressed the tip of his knife against his throat. The other soldiers looked uncomfortable, he noticed, but did nothing to stop their friend from attacking him. “Al’skander will be angry with you when he finds out you harassed me.” If only he had a weapon!

“I don’t think so, boy. Al’skander,” he said, mimicking the way Bagoas pronounced it, “is far away and won’t return shortly. A lot can happen in the time that he is away.”

“Let him go,” ordered one of the guards. “He is harmless.”

/Harmless?/ Bagoas seethed with anger, but tried hard not to show it. /Give me a knife and I will show you harmless!/ His attacker’s hand found its way beneath the cloak and into the folds of his robes. The coarse hand settled on his right buttock, roughly squeezing the flesh. He would carry away bruises from this encounter! That realization made him struggle harder, but only caused the tip of the soldier’s blade to dip beneath the skin. His attacker had drawn blood and that only excited him further. 

Bagoas had a good idea where this was heading and wasn’t going to allow it. “Don’t touch me,” he hissed, trying to move away from his attacker. But the guard intensified his hold on his wrist and Bagoas sucked in his breath as pain spiraled up his arm. “Stop this!”

“I don’t think so,” retorted the guard, panting hard. “I want you on your knees. You will put that pretty mouth to good use.”

“Never!” But the blade cut his throat again and droplets of blood dripped onto his cloak. “I’d rather die than…” Again, he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, but this time it was for a different reason. The guard released a pained yelp as he was pulled away from him. 

“How dare you? I told you to stop harassing him!” Hephaestion’s blue eyes burned with anger and he twisted his fingers cruelly in the guard’s hair. He flung the soldier onto the ground and towered over him. “Arrest him,” he commanded, addressing the other guards, who looked remarkably relieved now that their general had stepped in and stopped this. They grabbed hold of the soldier who had harassed Bagoas and dragged him off. This left Hephaestion and Bagoas alone, staring at each other. 

“I could have dealt with him,” stated Bagoas. He felt the warm liquid sliding down his chest now. The cuts were shallow and certainly not life-threatening, but caused a lot of bleeding. 

“Of course you would have,” replied Hephaestion, realizing Bagoas was stronger than he had thought. There was fire inside the raven-haired boy. He took a step toward Bagoas and saw the eyes narrow. Bagoas didn’t quite trust him and he couldn’t blame the younger man for feeling like that. He uncovered a dagger and offered it to Bagoas. “You should not walk about unarmed. Take it.”

Bagoas stared at the knife. It was unadorned and looked ordinary, but he could tell by looking at it that it was sharp and had served its owner well. It looked like Hephaestion had used it for years and now the older man was offering it to him? “Am I allowed to carry a weapon?” He wasn’t quite sure about that.

“I insist you take it.” Hephaestion took another step forward and took hold of Bagoas’ hand. He placed the hilt in Bagoas’ hand and curled the younger man’s fingers around it. “The next time someone attacks you, use it!”

Hephaestion’s order touched Bagoas for several reasons. The most important one was that the older man trusted him to defend himself and didn’t smother him with protectiveness. “Thank you.” Bagoas accepted the knife and stared at it. His head still reeled from everything that had just happened to him. 

“What are you doing here?” asked Hephaestion, noticing the way the cuts continued to bleed. They should be disinfected and his hands itched to stop the bleeding, but he didn’t know if Bagoas would allow him close again. 

“I wanted to watch the sun rise from the hill over there.” He was a bit late though. The sun was already rising and bathed the land in a golden glow. “I couldn’t sleep…” he offered as an explanation. 

“And why was that?” Hephaestion had managed to take another step closer to Bagoas and felt encouraged now that the younger man wasn’t moving away from him. 

“I didn’t want to have another nightmare.” The prospect of screaming in his sleep and those guards hearing it made him feel uncomfortable. 

“You didn’t sleep at all last night?” Hephaestion wasn’t comfortable with that notion and carefully placed his hand on Bagoas’ shoulder. 

Being touched surprised Bagoas, but he allowed it. Hephaestion was gaining his trust and he found he wanted to give the older man a chance to prove himself further. Alexander had always wanted them to get along and maybe these past incidents were providing them with a reason to explore this new situation. “I am not tired. I can do without a night’s sleep.”

“One night, yes, but what about several of them?” Hephaestion coughed, clearing his throat. “Someone should have a look at those cuts.” The wounds were still bleeding and smeared Bagoas’ clothes with blood. 

“I will tend to the wounds.” He would use a mirror to see where the cuts were located and disinfect them. 

“Would you allow me to do so? I can apply a balm that will help them heal so you won’t carry away scars.” Hephaestion didn’t want the smooth skin to scar. 

Bagoas felt undecided. He had missed watching the sun rise so there was no real reason to head for that hill. Hephaestion, however, confused him. When he had thanked Hephaestion, he had seen a side to the older man he had never noticed before and now Hephaestion was making a serious effort to reach out to him. Alexander would want him to accept and to encourage Hephaestion to deepen the beginning friendship between them. 

Raising a hand, Hephaestion offered it to Bagoas. “Please take it.” He too realized they had reached a crossroad. If Bagoas didn’t accept his friendship now, the younger man never would. 

In the end, Bagoas placed his hand in Hephaestion’s and he clearly heard the relieved sigh that fled Hephaestion’s lips. The smile that greeted him next made him smile weakly in turn. 

Now that Bagoas had placed his hand in his, Hephaestion curled his fingers around the limb, making certain the younger man couldn’t pull away. “Press the fabric of your cloak against the wounds.”

“But…” He didn’t want to stain his cloak any further as it had been a gift from Alexander.

“You already have blood on it. We will have it cleaned.” Hephaestion began to guide Bagoas back to the camp, maintaining his hold on Bagoas’ hand. He had been furious coming upon the guard molesting Bagoas. But seeing the younger man trying to struggle free and defend himself had made him proud. 

Bagoas pressed the fabric against his throat, not happy about smearing the cloak further, but Hephaestion was right: he needed to put pressure onto the wounds. The dagger pressed against his hip with each step that he took and its presence made him feel safe. 

After a few minutes, they reached Hephaestion’s tent and both guards lowered their eyes in respect – not to him, but to Hephaestion. Bagoas was intelligent and realized that seeing their general hold his hand would tell them to treat him with some measure of respect as well – at least, he hoped so. He entered the tent, following Hephaestion and allowing the other man to lead him to a chair. 

“Sit down,” instructed Hephaestion, collecting a basin with water and wash cloths. He also retrieved a jar filled with some kind of ointment and placed it on the floor, next to the basin. 

“One of the slaves can attend to me,” whispered Bagoas, feeling uncomfortable now that Hephaestion was kneeling in front of him. The man’s blue eyes revealed worry and affection, which surprised him. 

“Be still and let me tend to these,” replied Hephaestion. He immersed the cloth in the water, pried the bloodied cloak from Bagoas’ throat, and cleaned the wounds, removing the blood and any dirt that might have found its way into the cuts. “I might have to bandage them.” 

Bagoas shivered, feeling Hephaestion tip his head backwards so he could examine the cuts. He felt vulnerable and Bagoas fought to remain calm. He wouldn’t show his unease. 

Hephaestion rose from the floor and opened a traveling chest which stood at the foot end of his bed. He removed strips of white linen from it and then returned to Bagoas. This time, he pulled up a chair and sat in front of the younger man. He could tell that Bagoas didn’t feel at ease, but this wasn’t the time to address it. Putting some ointment onto his fingertips, he smeared it onto the cuts and then dressed the wounds. “I am afraid you will have to keep these bandaged until the morning. The wounds will have closed by then.” 

“Thank you,” whispered Bagoas. He wanted to get to his feet and return to Alexander’s tent, but Hephaestion stopped him by placing his hands on his shoulders. Silent, he studied the azure eyes, once more thinking to himself that Hephaestion *was* handsome. 

Alexander and Hephaestion were opposites, as far as their appearance was concerned. Where Alexander was fair-haired, Hephaestion had auburn hair. Alexander’s eyes were brown with specks of gold and Hephaestion’s seemed to possess the color of the sea itself. Hephaestion was also more muscular than Alexander, a fact that registered only now. “Why won’t you let me leave?” he questioned, although it wasn’t his place to do so. 

“Because I cannot let you leave, Bagoas.” Hephaestion carefully squeezed Bagoas’ shoulders. “Your clothes are smeared with blood and I do not want you to cross camp looking like that.” Bagoas didn’t just look vulnerable, he *was* vulnerable, even armed with a knife. 

“I am grateful for what you did for me,” said Bagoas softly. “But I am not your responsibility. I can take care of myself.” He bit his bottom lip, seeing Hephaestion cock his head and look at him questioningly. “They caught me off guard,” he added, addressing the incident that had just occurred. “I didn’t think he would attack me.”

“Bagoas, you just said that you are grateful… If that is so, I would like to voice a request.” Hephaestion noticed the way Bagoas tensed. Why the younger man thought that he would call in sexual favors eluded him. He wasn’t like that. His heart knew only one true love and that was Alexander. But now, Bagoas was also sneaking inside. 

“My Lord, I *am* grateful,” confirmed Bagoas. “But there is one price I am not willing to pay for your help.” That was quite a bold statement for him to make, after all, he was only a slave and Hephaestion had the authority to punish him for saying such a thing. “I love Al’skander,” he added, hoping to soften his prior message. 

“Bagoas,” whispered Hephaestion, his hands sliding down to clasp the younger man’s hands in his. “I love Alexander as well. Didn’t we discuss this only yesterday?” But that wasn’t what he had wanted to say and he tried again. “I would never force you to do anything against your will.”

Bagoas nodded once, hoping Hephaestion had spoken the truth. “What favor would you ask for?” A part of him insisted this conversation was madness. Hephaestion, Alexander’s beloved and general in the King’s army, was actually asking him for a favor! Him! A slave!

“Stay in my tent until Alexander returns. I would sleep more soundly knowing you safe.” Hephaestion’s fingers moved over Bagoas’ knuckles, caressing the skin. 

Bagoas wondered about the caress, but didn’t question Hephaestion about it. Seeing Hephaestion this concerned for his well-being was new, but was it also welcome? Hating Hephaestion had been easy in those first days when he had realized that he loved Alexander. These last few days had changed things though. “Why do you want me to stay here?”

Hephaestion remained calm and even managed a smile. “Because I am worried about you.”

Bagoas recognized an honest answer when he heard one and accepted the truth. “I will stay.” He felt worried, realizing his tone might offend Hephaestion. It almost sounded like he was the general and Hephaestion his slave. 

“Good,” whispered Hephaestion, smiling. “The bed should be big enough for the two of us.” He really had no hidden agenda; he merely wanted to know Bagoas safe and comfortable, but he could tell from looking into the large, dark eyes that the younger man didn’t quite believe him. So be it. “You should take a bath. I will tell the servants to bring water and clean clothes.”

That was another thing Bagoas should have noticed a long time ago, but his prejudice toward Hephaestion had stopped him from doing so. Hephaestion never said ‘slaves’, always servants. The first thing Alexander – and Hephaestion – had done upon entering Babylon was freeing most of the slaves there. “I will do that.”

Hephaestion considered protesting, but realized he was already fortunate that Bagoas had agreed to stay in his tent. He should probably make himself scarce, as he didn’t want to infringe on Bagoas’ privacy, no matter how beautiful the younger man was. “I must attend to some pressing matters, but I will return for dinner, which I hope you will eat with me.”

“I will be here,” confirmed Bagoas, relieved to feel the sting of the cuts lessen. The ointment Hephaestion had applied was soothing the damaged skin. 

Hephaestion nodded his head in goodbye and exited the tent, leaving Bagoas behind to muse upon all current events.

Bagoas felt lost. He wished Alexander were here to explain everything that was happening to him. He just didn’t know what to make of Hephaestion’s changed behavior.

~~~

Bagoas stayed inside for the rest of the day. The guard who had hurt him had been arrested, but could have been released again. He didn’t know what Hephaestion’s plans were for that guard. 

He remained seated for a few minutes, but now that Hephaestion had left his curiosity grew, making him explore the general’s tent. He didn’t know that much about Hephaestion’s duties, except that he commanded part of Alexander’s army. He was therefore surprised when he came across several large and detailed maps in one corner of the tent. They showed parts of the lands they were passing through and, looking at the colored lines, he wondered why Hephaestion possessed such maps. What exactly *were* Hephaestion’s duties?

A servant brought a tray filled with sweet wine, water, fruits, and meats, but Bagoas barely touched it. He hadn’t gotten much exercise today and eating too much would only cause him to gain weight. Growing fat, like some of the other eunuchs had, and losing his attractiveness scared him. He only ate an apple and some grapes and washed the fruits away with water. 

The day passed by slowly and he was already looking forward to Hephaestion joining him in the evening hours; he craved company, Hephaestion’s company, which surprised him. In the end, he curled up on a chair. He pulled his knees close to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, and rested his head on his knees. Curled up like that, he dozed off; his body was determined to catch up on the sleep it had missed last night.

~~~

Hephaestion felt tired upon arriving at his tent. He had been busy all day and now looked forward to taking a bath and catch up on his sleep. Although Alexander was trying hard to do away with the dangers that threatened the safety of the caravan, some of their enemies had managed to get behind Alexander’s lines and had attacked him and his escort. He had repositioned his soldiers, told the guards to remain alert and had made certain that the most vulnerable divisions were well protected. In case of an attack, the most seasoned warriors would take care of the threat.

After pushing the curtain aside, he entered his tent. He had forgotten about his guest and didn’t notice Bagoas at first, who was still asleep on his chair. Hephaestion barked an order and the servants hurried to bring hot water for his bath. Still unaware of his guest, Hephaestion began to remove his clothes.

~~~

Hephaestion’s voice woke Bagoas from his peaceful slumber. His eyes opened and he stared at Hephaestion, who had already removed his tunic. The older man bent forward to rid himself of his boots and Bagoas fought a blush from rising to his cheeks. Hephaestion was well-trained and muscular and the skin had taken on a bronze glow. The long, auburn hair was tangled and Hephaestion was combing the strands with his fingers, cursing when the mane refused to be straightened out. Bagoas made his decision to offer Hephaestion his services that moment. After all, the general had taken care of him this morn. 

“Maybe I can be of some assistance?” Bagoas lowered his feet onto the ground and stood, stretching his limbs.

Hephaestion spun around and stared at Bagoas. He had completely forgotten about his guest! “I…” He was seldom speechless, but right now he didn’t know what to say. He reached for a robe and wrapped himself up in it. “This won’t take long,” he replied, eventually. 

“I do not mind.” Bagoas smiled sweetly at Hephaestion. Walking toward the auburn-haired man, he thought he saw fear flash in the sapphire eyes. Those eyes were amazing; they could change from light azure to the darkest midnight blue within seconds. 

The servants entered and Bagoas told them to empty the buckets of water into the tub. It was a wooden tub, just big enough for a man to sit in, but it would do. He took hold of the soap and a sponge and tilted his head invitingly when Hephaestion remained motionless. “Please step into the water.”

Hephaestion’s nervousness increased, realizing Bagoas’ intentions. “I do not require help bathing.”

“I know you do not, but please let me assist you.” Bagoas gestured for Hephaestion to finally step into the water. None of these Macedonians practiced the elaborate washing ritual Darius had, but he felt that attending to Hephaestion was his duty and so he would scrub the dirt from Hephaestion’s body. 

“Bagoas…” Hephaestion knew he shouldn’t do this. He didn’t feel comfortable being naked in front of Bagoas. He was afraid he would grow erect and that Bagoas would realize his interest in him. This interest – sudden and unexpected - baffled Hephaestion. For most of the day his thoughts had circled around Bagoas and the sensations the eunuch had woken in him. At first, he had refused to admit them, but in the end, he’d had no choice but to face them. His greatest concern was how Alexander would react should his lover ever learn about his affection toward Bagoas. 

What he felt for Bagoas greatly differed from his feelings for Alexander. Alexander was the other half of his soul and he would love Alexander until the day he died. But Bagoas… Bagoas was handsome, young, and eager to please. So far, Bagoas had only been eager to please Alexander, but Hephaestion had felt the balance between them shift now that Bagoas had let go of his hatred for him. Hephaestion didn’t know how to handle this. He should keep his distance where Bagoas was concerned, but he had invited the eunuch into his tent himself. He couldn’t throw him out!

“Let me attend to you. You took good care of me last night and this morn. Let me do this for you.” Hephaestion’s shyness surprised Bagoas; he recognized the inner struggle which was taking place in the older man’s head. He understood why Hephaestion felt conflicted for, on some level, he felt the same. Hephaestion and Alexander had been lovers long before he had entered their life and his presence, his desire, was complicating their relationship.

Realizing there was no way out, Hephaestion dropped the robe and quickly climbed into the tub. He sat down and was grateful that the water reached his waist, covering his groin. “You can go now, Bagoas.”

“I am staying,” replied Bagoas, steadfast. He pushed up his sleeves, wet the sponge and soap in the water, and worked up lather. Hephaestion’s’ musky scent invaded his nostrils and he briefly closed his eyes. Even Hephaestion’s scent reminded him of Alexander’s. Determinedly, he began to wet the auburn mane and washed the strands until the dirt and grim were gone. He used a cup to rinse the hair and his hands traveled lower, washing Hephaestion’s shoulders and back. He became lost in these well-practiced and familiar movements. 

Hephaestion sucked in his breath, seeing Bagoas’ hands disappear beneath the water surface and reach for his private parts. He was painfully erect and decisively pushed Bagoas’ hands away from his groin. 

That action caught Bagoas’ attention and he gave Hephaestion a probing look, seeing the blush on the older man’s face. “You are not the first to have an erection during your bath, my Lord. I assure you I can handle the situation.” These Macedonians reacted differently from Persians. Darius would have expected him to attend to his duty, regardless the state the Great King was in, but Hephaestion acted embarrassed. 

Not giving Hephaestion a chance to object, he cleaned the older man’s penis with skilled and fast movements. “Done,” he whispered, finding Hephaestion’s blush had intensified. Bagoas found himself asking Hephaestion questions, although it wasn’t his place to ask them in the first place. Yet, Alexander, and now Hephaestion as well, didn’t seem to mind when he informally addressed them. Darius would have chastised him for forgetting his place. “Do you never let servants attend to you?”

“Hardly ever,” replied Hephaestion, who was grateful that the bath had come to an end. 

Bagoas unfolded a large towel and he averted his eyes – just like had been taught – when Hephaestion rose from the water. He wrapped the towel around Hephaestion’s waist and wanted to dry the skin, but then Hephaestion quickly took a step away from him, avoiding his touch. 

“I can manage,” stated Hephaestion, embarrassed because of his flushed state. He wasn’t used to such tender, yet prying hands and the only time he required help with bathing was when he was ill or injured. The fact that it was Bagoas assisting him didn’t help either. The younger man’s presence only caused him discomfort as he had to fight this desire that had taken a hold of him. He had to find a way to do away with this unwelcome attraction!

The servants brought dinner and Hephaestion gestured for them to put it on his desk, which was still partly occupied by maps. These maps helped him organize logistics. Not many realized how important his task was. The troops needed provisions and without Hephaestion’s organizational talent Alexander might never have been so successful. 

Hephaestion slipped into a robe and tied the sash tightly. He wasn’t going to risk the robes parting and revealing his aroused state to Bagoas. It was bad enough that the younger man knew he was hard!

Bagoas dried his hands and pulled his sleeves down. He followed Hephaestion to the table and studied him. 

“Please, sit down.” Hephaestion seated himself and directed his attention to the maps, instead of Bagoas. “Eat as much as you like.” 

Bagoas accepted the invitation by tilting his head and seating himself. He nibbled on some meat and washed it away with watered down wine. Alexander liked his wine potent and full where as Hephaestion watered it down, if he drank any to begin with. Bagoas had watched all of the Companions and most of them indulged themselves by drinking wine, but Hephaestion seldom did, preferring water. 

“Won’t you eat?” Bagoas asked, seeing Hephaestion focused on one of the maps. The other man’s hand reached for a quill and, after dipping it in ink, he drew a new line onto the map.

“I apologize for being distracted, but I needed to mark Alexander’s whereabouts and find a way to get provisions to him.”

“You have heard from Al’skander?” Growing excited, Bagoas reached for a pear and bit into the sweet fruit. Would Hephaestion share the news? Damp hair clung to Hephaestion’s face and shoulders, making Bagoas frown. It would tangle further if Hephaestion didn’t attend to it. 

“He encounters more resistance than he originally thought. He might be away for longer than a week.” Hephaestion placed the quill aside and began to eat. 

Bagoas noticed the way Hephaestion avoided looking him in the eye and drew his own conclusions. He had been trained to please a man in whatever way possible, but in order to do so he had to be able to read a man’s emotions first. Hephaestion wasn’t very adept at hiding his feelings. /He is uncomfortable around me… He was hard when I helped him bathe… Hephaestion avoids my touch and my eyes./ All those things led him into one direction, but he couldn’t believe he had reached the right conclusion. /Hephaestion cannot desire me./ But then again, Bagoas knew very well how attractive he was and that males desired him. Alexander desired him, why not Hephaestion? /And if this is the case, what do I do?/ 

Realizing the silence between them was growing uncomfortable, Hephaestion asked, “Are the cuts still causing you discomfort?”

“No, they are healing well. That salve closed the wounds and took away the sting.” He had removed the bandages and had examined the cuts, which had long stopped bleeding. 

“Good… That is good,” whispered Hephaestion, growing shy again. “I am tired, Bagoas. Feel free to roam about my tent or to go outside. My men have been instructed to treat you with respect.” He began to rise from his chair, but was stopped by Bagoas, who placed a delicately formed hand on his wrist. 

“May I inquire what you did with the guard you had arrested for harassing me?” Bagoas held his breath, hoping he hadn’t overstepped any boundaries. With the way Hephaestion acted around him it was easy to forget his place. 

“You do not have to worry about him ever again, Bagoas.” Hephaestion stretched on his bed, feeling tired to the bone. It had been an exhausting day and his eyes were already closing. The warrior inside him, however, remained alert. 

Bagoas understood that Hephaestion didn’t want to discuss the soldier’s fate and had little choice but to accept that. Looking about, he sat down on the ground, atop a rug made of furs. 

“What are you doing?” Eyes half shut, Hephaestion pushed himself half upright and looked at Bagoas.

“I will sleep here,” announced Bagoas. The furs were soft and would keep him warm through the night. He was about to lie down when Hephaestion’s fingers curled around his arm. Surprised, he looked up at the older man. 

“The bed is big enough for the two of us. I don’t want you to sleep on the ground.” 

Hephaestion’s voice was determined, which surprised Bagoas, as the other man’s eyes were already closing from exhaustion. /He needs to sleep./ That was the main reason why he didn’t object to Hephaestion’s command to join him in bed. He wanted the other man to get the sleep he so badly needed. Hephaestion pulled him onto the bed and Bagoas lay down facing the exhausted man. The blue of Hephaestion’s eyes had dulled and the eyes now closed completely. 

Soft, steady breathing reached his ears and he felt touched that Hephaestion trusted him in this way. He hadn’t thought Hephaestion would make himself so vulnerable. Bagoas’ eyes closed as well and he soon joined Hephaestion in the land of dreams. 

~~~

Sometime during the night, Hephaestion gravitated to Bagoas. Bagoas, sound asleep, didn’t object when Hephaestion pulled him into his arms and rested his chin on a strong shoulder. Almost simultaneously, they wrapped their arms around each other and moved closer. Intimately entwined, and with their breaths caressing the other man’s skin, both men slept and dreamt.

~~~

The next morning, Bagoas woke first. He opened his eyes and looked at the face of a still sleeping Hephaestion. The way Hephaestion looked in his sleep, young and carefree, was a sight that filled Bagoas with wonder. Maybe this was the face Alexander had fallen in love with when they had been much younger. Wars, suffering, and hardship had formed wrinkles on Hephaestion’s brow, had left scars on his face and his body and made him look older than he really was. Only now, in sleep, Hephaestion’s true nature was revealed. 

A strand of auburn hair teased against his bottom lip and Bagoas smiled, inhaling the other man’s scent. /Alexander loves you…/ Until now, he hadn’t realized why Alexander loved Hephaestion that much, but he was beginning to understand. In his sleep, a boyish quality had come over Hephaestion and Bagoas could very well imagine the lips curled in laughter because Alexander was tickling him. 

Now that he had the time and opportunity to give himself over to his musings, he twirled that strand of hair around his digit, marveling at its shine and softness. The dirt and grime had been removed, but the strands had tangled during the night and he wanted nothing more than to straighten the strands, comb and maybe even braid them. He had seen Hephaestion braid his hair on occasion. 

The soldiers were also beginning to stir and he could hear them move about and shout. It wouldn’t be long before their voices would wake Hephaestion and Bagoas was curious to see just how Hephaestion was going to react to seeing them wrapped in each other’s arms.

~~~

Hephaestion pressed closer to the warm body in his arms. A familiar and welcome scent traveled up his nostrils and he smiled in his sleep, rubbing his face against soft hair. It had been long since he woke feeling like this. His nights with Alexander had become sparse due to the ongoing battle and Bagoas’ presence in his lover’s bed. As a result, he had grown lonely. 

The soldiers were already readying themselves for the day and it was time he rose from his bed and set the example by working hard. During Alexander’s absence, he was in command of the army. 

Opening his eyes, he sucked in his breath and froze. Shocked, he stared at Bagoas, laying in front of him and looking back at him. When had he wrapped his arms around the eunuch? And why was Bagoas returning the embrace? He felt immensely grateful that he hadn’t woken with a morning erection, for if he had, he would have been unable to look Bagoas in the eyes – something which he found hard to begin with, because those eyes were smiling at him. Not so long ago they had been narrowed in distrust and loathing. 

“I apologize,” he started, trying to pull away from Bagoas. “It must have happened in my sleep. I assure you it was not my intention to…” He failed to end his sentence, seeing Bagoas cock his head and study him in depth. His mouth grew dry and he swallowed nervously. Bagoas’ expression was odd and he didn’t quite know what to make of it. 

Bagoas didn’t release Hephaestion from his hold. He *knew* he was reading the expression in those azure eyes correctly and posted the only question he could ask that moment. “Do you think Al’skander will approve?”

“Of what?” Hephaestion made another attempt to break free and this time he succeeded. He sat upright and pulled his robes back into place again. They had slipped, revealing a bare shoulder and part of his chest. He understood what Bagoas was asking him, but decided to act ignorant.

“Do you think he will approve of this attraction?” Bagoas surprised himself by being this bold, but Hephaestion made it so easy to slip, to think that they were equals, which, of course, they were not.

“What attraction?” Hephaestion got to his feet and walked away from the bed. He searched his chest, removed a tunic from it, and dressed. He wasn’t going to allow for this discussion to happen. “There is no attraction. I don’t know what you are referring to.” He headed toward the exit and said, without turning about, “I don’t know if I will be back in time for dinner. Please feel free to stay here.” 

“Hephaestion,” said Bagoas, taking great care in correctly pronouncing the other man’s name. “You cannot leave looking like that.” He decided against further confronting Hephaestion with the attraction that continued to grow between them. It had been folly to do so in the first place. It wasn’t his place to tell Hephaestion to face his feelings!

“Looking like what?” Hephaestion couldn’t resist and looked at Bagoas after all. Bagoas’ raven hair spilled down his chest and back and framed a handsome face, which was still untouched by time. The dark eyes called to him and his heart missed a beat, realizing he had to address this attraction sooner or later. 

“Your hair,” clarified Bagoas, rising from the bed with feline movements.

Hephaestion ran his fingers through the strands, but only caused the knots to worsen. “It is not a problem.” He stepped outside, as he needed to get some distance between them. He wasn’t certain he could continue to ward off Bagoas’ insinuations. The eunuch was right, of course – the attraction was there and growing, but the question that Bagoas had asked him made the hair at the back of his neck stand rigid. Would Alexander be angry with him for desiring Bagoas? Or would Alexander approve and invite Bagoas into their bed? Alexander had hinted that he wanted the two of them to become friends. But the problem was that this attraction was causing him to want more than Bagoas’ friendship.

~~~

Bagoas spent most of the day pondering their morning conversation. It was a dangerous situation they were in. He knew Hephaestion well enough to know that the older man would never take the first step in admitting his feelings and, without Alexander’s explicit consent, Hephaestion would never act on them. Which left them in an awkward situation. 

Bagoas loved Alexander unconditionally and he would die for his King and so would Hephaestion. Alexander was the factor that bound them and he was also the reason they couldn’t act on this attraction. Truth be told, this attraction had taken him by surprise as well. He had been so convinced that he disliked Hephaestion, even hated him, but with Alexander gone, he gravitated toward Hephaestion like he would toward Alexander. Maybe there was some truth in the statement that Hephaestion was Alexander too.

~~~

Hephaestion didn’t join him for dinner that evening and Bagoas began to worry about the older man. Hephaestion was a considerate person and would have informed him if there had been a change of plans – at least, Bagoas thought so. But then again, Hephaestion had practically fled the tent that morning and this could be his way of avoiding dealing with the matter. 

Driven by unease and worry, Bagoas stepped outside and asked the guard on duty if there was any news concerning the general. The soldier could only tell him that there had been a clash between Hephaestion’s escort and the natives. 

The guard apologized for the lack of information and gave Bagoas an understanding look. He had seen Hephaestion and Bagoas return to the tent one night, walking hand in hand. 

A fight? This news worried Bagoas, who returned to the bed, sat down, and pulling the blanket around his form. This blanket now contained their combined scents. Alexander was out of his reach, fighting his own battles and wouldn’t be able to help his beloved Hephaestion. He felt worried; both men were out of his reach. All he could do now was to wait for more news.

~~~

It was in the middle of the night that shouting erupted from all over the camp. Bagoas, startled from a restless sleep, quickly left Hephaestion’s bed and headed for the exit. He was about to step outside when the curtain was pushed back and several soldiers entered the tent. Bagoas’ heart missed a beat, seeing them carry Hephaestion, who hung unconsciously in their arms. Blood showed on his breast plate, which had been shattered beneath a blow. 

The soldiers placed Hephaestion on the bed and then undressed him. Bagoas stepped away, making certain they had enough space to work. Hephaestion’s face was pallid, only confirming Bagoas’ suspicions that the general had lost a large amount of blood. 

“You, come here!” One of the soldiers grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him closer. A piece of fabric was pushed into his hand and Bagoas pressed it against the wound. It was an ugly wound, deep and ridged. What kind of weapon had caused this injury? 

Bagoas watched how the soldiers prepared to clean and dress the wound. One of the senior officers instructed him to pull the fabric away and to gently clean the wound. He didn’t know why he was given this task; the seasoned soldiers knew best what to do, but he obeyed and cleaned the wound. 

“We need to close it,” announced a senior officer. 

Horrified, Bagoas stared at the knife being thrust into the fire. He had heard that soldiers would close wounds by burning the flesh, but he had never seen it done. He sucked in his breath, seeing the knife hover over Hephaestion’s chest and he wasn’t prepared to see the sapphire eyes, filled with agony, directed at him. Acting on instinct, he curled his fingers around Hephaestion’s clammy and shaky ones, lending the other man all the strength he needed. “It will be over soon.” 

The burning metal scorched his skin, closing the wound and filled the tent with a foul stench. Hephaestion lost consciousness. His head lolled to the right, facing Bagoas and the eunuch leaned in closer to stroke the damp hair. Hephaestion was already running a fever and sweat covered most of the injured man’s body.

“Steady him,” instructed the officer, pulling Hephaestion into an upright position so he could bandage the chest area. He had done everything he could to ensure his general’s survival. Looking at the eunuch’s face, he saw concern and realized he could leave his general in Bagoas’ care. “Look after him,” he ordered. “We will send word to Alexander, but in the meantime you must make certain he survives.” He would check on Hephaestion regularly, but there was little he could do. “He is a fighter,” he added, trying to give Bagoas hope. “He will survive. Talk to him… Do whatever necessary to make certain he continues to fight.”

Bagoas nodded his head once; he would do his best.

~~~

Hephaestion’s fever worsened during the night. The injured man drifted in and out of consciousness and Bagoas had to restrain him at times, because he tended to toss and turn whenever a nightmare was about him. 

“Alexander! Alexander!” Hephaestion started to call out for his lover and Bagoas inched closer. He was already seated on the bed, close to Hephaestion, but was careful not to make any abrupt movements; the moving bed could increase Hephaestion’s pain. 

“He will be here soon,” responded Bagoas, using a wash cloth to remove the sweat from Hephaestion’s brow. Although Hephaestion was running a fever, the man felt icy cold beneath his fingertips. Had the tip of the weapon that had injured Hephaestion been poisoned? 

“No!” Bagoas’ words jolted Hephaestion into awareness and he reached for the other man’s wrist, curling his fingers around the limb. “You cannot tell him!”

Bagoas made soothing sounds and used his free hand to smooth damp strands of hair away from Hephaestion’s face. “He must know.”

“You don’t understand!” Hephaestion trembled over his entire body and stared at Bagoas. “He won’t think! He will act!”

“I have faith in our King,” replied Bagoas, trying to calm Hephaestion. “The fever is making it hard for you to think properly. Let me deal with any problems that arise. You need to rest and recover.” He disposed of the cloth and dipped the sponge into the cool water. He ran the sponge over Hephaestion’s body, trying to remove as much sweat as he could. The bandages showed no fresh blood and that fact gave Bagoas hope. “You must survive! Don’t even think about giving up. Fight the fever!”

A rare smile surfaced on Hephaestion’s face, making Bagoas admire the beauty that shone from within and he curled his fingers around Hephaestion’s. “Alexander will come for you. He loves you.” To his surprise, saying those words no longer hurt. Where had his jealousy gone? Had he finally realized how insignificant his love was compared to love Alexander bore Hephaestion? The bitter truth was that Alexander could live without his love, without his presence, but Alexander would not survive losing Hephaestion. That realization filled his heart and soul with a peace he had never felt before. “I will stay with you. I am here. Sleep now.”

Hephaestion’s stare broke, the eyes rolled back in their sockets, and the eyelids closed. Bagoas could only hope Hephaestion had entered a healing sleep. 

~~~

During the next four days, he remained at Hephaestion’s side. The injured man was unconscious for most of the time, which made it easier for Bagoas to attend to his needs. He gave Hephaestion several sponge baths, cleaned and dressed the wound under an officer’s supervision, and wet Hephaestion’s lips with water. During Hephaestion’s waking moments, he tried to get some food into the exhausted man. He talked softly for most of the time, hoping Hephaestion would find some measure of comfort in knowing he was close. But Bagoas also realized it was someone else Hephaestion needed at his side. It was time Alexander arrived.

~~~

Hephaestion’s eyelids fluttered and then his eyes opened. He recognized his surroundings for the first time in days and felt relieved, knowing he was in his tent. His chest burned and a deep ache slid through his upper body when he tried to move about. His attention was drawn to something black. Strands of thick, raven hair teased his left arm and after studying the raven hair, he realized it was Bagoas’. The younger man had fallen asleep seated at his bed side. The head rested on the straw-filled mattress and one hand tightly held onto his. 

During his feverish dreams, Hephaestion had been under the impression that Bagoas was taking care of him, but he hadn’t been certain if it was real or a hallucination caused by his fever. Now that his fever had lessened, he realized that Bagoas had remained at his side, taking care of him. 

Moving his arm marginally, he tried to get Bagoas to wake up. He would have liked to address him and run his fingers through the ebony mane, but he was still too weak to do such things. Thankfully, the movement was enough to cause Bagoas to lift his head and look at him. Hephaestion managed a weak smile.

“You are awake.” Bagoas felt relieved, seeing the eyes had cleared; the fever was finally gone! “I prayed you would return to me.” He raised his hand and gently caressed the tangled mess of auburn hair. “You really should let me comb and braid it for you.” Hephaestion’s smile brightened and Bagoas gently squeezed the trembling fingers. “Go back to sleep now. Al’skander will be here shortly.”

Hephaestion wanted to shake his head to warn Bagoas not to inform Alexander, but exhaustion got the better of him and his eyes closed as he slipped back into a healing sleep.

Bagoas drew in a deep breath and thanked whatever gods had listened to his prayers. Carefully, he leaned in closer and pressed a chaste kiss onto Hephaestion’s brow. He would continue to care for Hephaestion until the King arrived.

~~~

“Hephaestion!” 

Alexander’s voice, agitated and nervous, woke Bagoas from his peaceful slumber. He had fallen asleep shortly after Hephaestion had dozed off, worn down from keeping a vigil at the injured man’s side. Raising his head, he easily identified Alexander’s form, hurrying inside. “He is well, my King,” he said, quickly releasing Hephaestion’s hand and pushing back his chair. Now that Alexander was here, it was time he remembered his place. 

“Oh, Bagoas, what happened to him?” Alexander felt devastated, seeing Hephaestion’s pale complexion and the bandages wrapped around his chest. 

“His escort was attacked. I believe the weapon that struck him carried some sort of poison, but he fought bravely and is already on his way to recovery.” Bagoas vacated his chair and moved backward until he stood near the exit. 

Alexander cautiously sat down on the side of the bed and gathered Hephaestion’s hands in his. “Hephaestion? Can you hear me? If you do, please open your eyes.” He needed to convince himself that Hephaestion had defeated this fever!

“A…lexander?” Hephaestion’s eyes opened and tried to focus on his fair-haired lover, whose expression had contorted with worry. Alexander looked like he had hurried here and the hand, which held his, trembled fiercely. “You… should… not have… come here…” He had been worried that Alexander would throw caution to the wind in order to get to him in time. 

“How could I not hurry to your side, Hephaestion?” 

Bagoas smiled; the way Alexander pronounced the other man’s name was nothing short of a verbal caress. In the past, he had felt envious hearing Alexander speak to Hephaestion in such an adoring way, but this time he didn’t feel jealous. In a way, he was glad that the two of them had been reunited. /Their love is true,/ he realized while watching Alexander press a kiss onto Hephaestion’s quivering lips. /I desire them, maybe I even love them, but my love doesn’t compare to what they share./

Bagoas snuck out of the tent, wanting the two men to have some privacy. Now that Hephaestion and Alexander had been reunited, they no longer needed him.

~~~

Alexander had been terrified hearing that his beloved Hephaestion had sustained an injury and had hurried back to his lover’s side, momentarily forsaking his duties and giving his men and the enemy a rest. All that mattered was being close to Hephaestion, holding his beloved in his arms and seeing to the injured man's needs. Nothing and no one else registered with Alexander those first few hours – nothing but Hephaestion. 

He held Hephaestion close, but was careful not to jostle his lover and cause additional pain. His arms were loosely wrapped around his sleeping lover, keeping him warm and protected. Had he lost Hephaestion, he would have kept his promise and followed his lover to the House of Death. Hephaestion was everything to him – the very reason he lived – and without him he would wither away. 

His senior officers came to check on Hephaestion’s wound, redressed the chest area, and lowered him back into Alexander’s arms again. The first time they had tended to Hephaestion, they had talked to Alexander for a long time, convincing their King to release his lover for the smallest amount of time. All of the soldiers hoped Hephaestion would quickly regain consciousness, for seeing Alexander in such turmoil made them nervous. 

~~~

Hephaestion’s eyes opened and he took in the marvelous sight of his beloved Alexander lying close to him, holding him. Remaining motionless, he listened and realized it was morning; the soldiers outside were preparing for a new day. How long had he been asleep? A quick sweep of his surroundings told him that Bagoas wasn’t present. 

“Alexander?” His mouth was dry, his lips chapped, and his throat felt like sand, but he still managed to address his lover. “Alexander!”

Alexander startled awake and his gaze locked with Hephaestion. “You are awake! Oh, you scared me, Hephaestion!” He leaned in closer and showered the face he loved so much with kisses. “I was so afraid when the news reached me. I could not believe the gods would take you away from me!” 

“You cannot be at my side always,” said Hephaestion, soothing Alexander. He wanted nothing more than to kiss his beloved, but he needed something else more. “Water…” 

Alexander nodded his head and reluctantly released Hephaestion from his hold. He sat upright and reached for the carafe with water, filling one of the glasses. “Careful now,” he whispered, touching the glass to Hephaestion’s lips. Alexander made certain Hephaestion sipped and seeing his lover swallow made him smile brilliantly. “You will recover, Hephaestion. You will grow strong again!” 

He refilled the glass and dipped his fingers in the water. Tenderly, he wet Hephaestion’s chapped lips, wishing he could do more to alleviate his lover’s pain. “I cannot stop looking at you!” He had been so afraid to find his lover’s corpse! “I need to touch you…” His fingers ghosted over Hephaestion’s face before settling in the damp hair. 

Hephaestion ran his tongue over his bottom lip, trying to moisten it further. The fever had taken its toll on him, leaving him weak and covered in sweat. It seemed another bath was in order and that thought reminded him of Bagoas. The younger man had left or had Alexander dismissed him? “Alexander, where is Bagoas?” 

Hephaestion’s question struck Alexander as odd, but he answered anyway. “He left after I arrived. He probably wanted us to have some privacy.” Why was his lover asking about Bagoas? “He will be around somewhere.”

“Would you send for him?” Hephaestion tried to elbow himself into an upright position, but his eyes widened and he hissed in pain. He was far from healed. 

“Of course, if you desire so,” replied Alexander in a puzzled voice. “But would you tell me why?” Hephaestion and Bagoas had never been friends, so why was Hephaestion asking about the eunuch now?

“Before you send for him… There is something I need to tell you.” Hephaestion already felt drained, but knew he had to do this now before his courage deserted him. 

“Wait…” Alexander piled the pillows and lowered Hephaestion into their comfort. “Better?” 

“Thank you.” Hephaestion lifted his hand and caressed Alexander’s face. “I love you so much, my Alexander. You weren’t the only one who was afraid, you know. I was scared I would not be able to hold you one last time or to kiss you goodbye. But now you are here at my side again.” 

Alexander kissed Hephaestion’s lips. “You are my life, Hephaestion.” Like so many times before he felt lost, looking into the azure eyes. “Now stop stalling and tell me why you want Bagoas to join us. Did something happen during my absence?” Emotions flared in Hephaestion’s eyes and they shone even brighter still, like a sapphire which had been hidden for centuries and now saw the first rays of the sun in its existence. Had it been possible, Alexander would have taken Hephaestion right there and then, staking his claim all over again for all eternity. 

“He took care of me, Alexander. He remained at my side when I was unconscious and struggling against the fever.” Hephaestion decided to feed Alexander small pieces instead of hitting him with the truth full force. “He was loyal although he didn’t have to.”

Alexander drew in a deep breath and kissed Hephaestion’s brow again. “Then I owe him my gratitude for keeping you safe.” 

Hephaestion studied Alexander, feeling a part of Alexander now that his beloved had returned to his side. “I never asked you this question, but what are your feelings for Bagoas, my Alexander?” 

Alexander’s surprise continued to grow. “You refused to address him before!” He had tried bringing up Bagoas, but Hephaestion had never allowed it.

“Indulge me,” whispered Hephaestion. He knew how to wind Alexander around his little finger and released a pained groan. Alexander moved closer and moistened his lips with more water. 

Alexander couldn’t deny his lover, not when he was in such a pitiful state. “He is beautiful and useful, Hephaestion. He warms my bed when your duties keep us apart.”

“Do you love him?” Hephaestion tilted his head and his fingers curled around Alexander’s now that his lover’s hand rested atop of his. 

“Love him?” Alexander frowned. “I care for him. I feel affection, but I would not call it love.” Why was Hephaestion asking him such a foolish thing? Did his beloved feel uncertain of his place in his life? That couldn’t be! Surely Hephaestion knew… “I love only you, Hephaestion. No one else.” 

Alexander’s words made Hephaestion thoughtful. “I cannot lie to you, my Alexander. I must tell you that…”

Alexander’s expression intensified, disliking the way Hephaestion was phrasing this.

“While you were away, Bagoas and I spent some time together and I have grown fond of him.” Hephaestion closed his eyes, willing the pain away, but his chest continued to hurt. 

Alexander smiled, relieved. “But that is wonderful news! I must say I always hoped you would warm up to him!”

“You don’t mind?” Hephaestion opened his eyes and searched Alexander’s brown ones. 

“Mind? I welcome your interest in him.” Alexander leaned in closer and whispered into Hephaestion’s ear, “I would gift him to you if you desire so or we could share him.” He would do anything to make Hephaestion happy. “He is talented between the sheets.” That comment made Hephaestion blush and that was exactly why he had said it in the first place. He loved seeing his lover flustered. “Do you desire him?”

 

“And this does not bother you?” Hephaestion wasn’t quite sure what to make of Alexander’s offer to share Bagoas. 

“I love only you, Hephaestion, and I know you love only me. Why would inviting Bagoas into our bed bother me? I am not that insecure.” Alexander wasn’t certain of many things in his life, but he was certain of Hephaestion’s unconditional love for him. “Am I correct to assume that Bagoas has taken a fancy to you as well?” 

Hephaestion swallowed, nervously, and whispered, “I believe so.”

“Then I will send for him and ask him!” Alexander wanted to leave the bed, but a groan escaped Hephaestion’s lips and stopped him. 

“Don’t tell him yet,” requested Hephaestion. He needed a moment to digest that Alexander accepted this attraction. 

“What *did* happen during my absence?” asked Alexander, growing truly curious.

“I will tell you,” replied Hephaestion, but his eyes were already closing. “Please, send… for… Bagoas.” He had exhausted himself and his body demanded he rest. 

Alexander studied Hephaestion’s face, which was relaxed and open in sleep. “I almost lost you,” whispered Alexander in a loving voice. “But you survived and it seems I should thank Bagoas for taking such good care of you.” Determined to please his lover, he called the guard on duty and sent him to fetch Bagoas.

~~~

“The King wants to speak with you. Follow me.”

The King’s summons surprised Bagoas, who hadn’t expected to hear from Alexander any time soon now that he was taking care of Hephaestion. Briefly, panic assaulted him; had Alexander already found out about the attraction between Hephaestion and him and was the King about to deal with that? He felt nervous, but followed the guard at any rate – it wasn’t like he had much choice.

~~~

“Come over here, Bagoas.” Alexander, still stretched on his side and holding Hephaestion, gestured for the eunuch to approach the bed. Bagoas’ expression revealed little and Alexander once more worried what had happened while he had been away. What had made Hephaestion and Bagoas gravitate toward each other? “Hephaestion asked me to send for you. He wants you here.”

/He does?/ Bagoas tried to hide his surprise and approached the bed. “How can I be of assistance?”

“You could start by telling me what happened between Hephaestion and you. What caused him to reach out to you?” Alexander realized there was a story here and he was determined to find out what it was.

Bagoas stood motionless, telling Alexander about his nightmares, Hephaestion reaching out and holding him at night. He told Alexander about the guard who had tried to molest him, informed the King of Hephaestion coming to the rescue, and showed him the knife Hephaestion had given to him to protect himself with. He ended his story by telling Alexander that Hephaestion had insisted that he stayed in his tent to avoid further incidents.

Alexander cocked his head and stared at Bagoas. “You are holding back.”

“Hephaestion pulled me close during the night. We woke up in each other’s arms.” Bagoas lowered his gaze and stared at the ground. Hephaestion was still soundly asleep and in no position to come to his aid. “I never meant to be unfaithful to you.”

Alexander wondered about Bagoas. Yes, he cared for the eunuch, but he didn’t love him the way he loved Hephaestion. There was only one true love for him and that was Hephaestion. He had spoken the truth when he had said that he would share Bagoas with Hephaestion. At the time, he hadn’t been sure if Bagoas would cooperate, as the eunuch claimed he loved him, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. It seemed Bagoas had also developed feelings for Hephaestion. /Perfect! This way I have them both and can give them what they need./ Alexander pondered his next move for a moment and then commanded, “Ask the guards to fill the tub. Hephaestion needs a bath and we will tend to him.”

/We?/ Bagoas’ eyes widened, realizing their fears had been unfounded. Alexander didn’t seem to mind this attraction and was actually encouraging them! “I will see to it,” he stated, excusing himself as he needed a moment to compose himself. A few minutes ago he had prepared himself to face Alexander’s wrath and now it seemed the opposite was happening – Alexander was willing to let him in. Maybe he could find a place in their lives and by doing so he would find the inner peace he had always yearned for.

~~~

Bagoas assisted Alexander, who sat down in the tub filled with warm water. Alexander’s arms were wrapped around Hephaestion, steadying him while Bagoas washed the sweat from the drained body. They had tried to wake Hephaestion, but sleep continued to drag the recovering man back into the land of dreams and so Alexander had stepped into the tub as well, not minding one bit that he got wet now that Hephaestion was pressed against him. Bagoas carefully washed Hephaestion’s hair and this time he swore he would straighten out the tangled strands. 

The bandages had grown wet and after drying Hephaestion’s skin, Alexander cut them away and told Bagoas to hand him new ones. He examined the wound, which had closed and was beginning to heal.

“Perhaps this will help?” During his search, Bagoas had uncovered the jar filled with the ointment Hephaestion had used to treat the cuts on his throat. 

Alexander opened the jar and an experimental sniff told him what the ointment contained. “Support him,” he ordered, pulling Bagoas onto the bed with them. 

Bagoas wrapped his arms around Hephaestion’s waist so the injured man could rest his back against him. Soft strands caressed his face and Bagoas felt desire now that his fingertips glided over Hephaestion’s skin. The fact that Alexander was naked as well meant that he was the only one left with clothes. 

Alexander coated the chest area with ointment and then redressed the wound. “We should lower him onto the bed again.” Together, they lowered Hephaestion onto his side. They had both noticed that Hephaestion preferred sleeping on his side and Alexander spooned behind his lover, considering Bagoas. “Remove your clothes, Bagoas.”

Bagoas lowered his dark eyes and obeyed his King. His robes dropped onto the floor and he stood naked next to the bed, awaiting further instructions. 

“Lie down on your side, facing Hephaestion,” instructed Alexander, wanting to give this to Hephaestion. His lover had expressed an interest in Bagoas and he would nurture that attraction for it meant he had the two people he cared the most about in bed with him. 

Bagoas stretched out in front of Hephaestion, feeling nervous now that it was the three of them. He knew how to act around Alexander, knew how to please his King, but this was new territory; what if something he did caused Alexander to grow jealous? Or cross with him? 

Hephaestion opened his eyes, feeling bliss now that a warm body spooned behind him and another warm body warmed his front. He immediately knew it was Alexander behind him for he knew his lover’s body intimately and inhaled Alexander’s unique scent. But Bagoas was there as well. “Bagoas,” he whispered in a sweet voice. 

“Wrap your arms around him, but be careful not to put any pressure on his chest area,” urged Alexander, smiling into Hephaestion’s hair. He sensed Bagoas’ hesitation, but didn’t reprimand the eunuch when Bagoas took his time to fold an arm around Hephaestion. 

“Move closer to him…” ordered Alexander.

Hephaestion’s gaze held Bagoas’ and he smiled tenderly at him. 

Bagoas finally overcame his timidity and moved closer to Hephaestion. 

Hephaestion was still smiling when his eyes closed once more. Having Alexander and Bagoas close, the healing process could finally begin.

~~~

Bagoas found himself alone in bed with Hephaestion the next time he woke up. Alexander was gone and Bagoas wondered where the other man had gone. He had thought that Alexander wouldn’t stray far from Hephaestion’s side now that the other man was injured. 

Indulging himself, he looked at the sleeping man in his arms. Color was beginning to return to Hephaestion’s face and the lines of suffering on the injured man’s face were far less pronounced. In Alexander’s arms, he seldom felt protective of the other man; it simply wasn’t his duty to keep Alexander safe and he had accepted his ‘position’ in life. But things were different with Hephaestion and he *did* feel awfully protective of him. 

The curtain moved and revealed Alexander. The King entered the tent and pulled a chair close to Hephaestion’s bed. Seeing Bagoas’ eyes were open, Alexander smiled ruefully. “Tell him that I want to stay, but I can’t. The enemy is gaining territory and I must strike now.” Alexander’s fingers moved through Hephaestion’s hair and he leaned in closer to press a kiss onto the crown of the head. “Take good care of him for me, Bagoas. I entrust you with his recovery. Make certain that he rests and does not overestimate himself. He is precious to me, Bagoas. If he were to die…” He didn’t dare end that sentence. “Tell him I love him so much it hurts. I trust you with him, Bagoas. I never trusted anyone to take care of him before.”

“I will guard him and protect him with my life,” whispered Bagoas, knowing only too well how much trust Alexander placed in him. “I will not disappoint you, Al’skander.”

“I know you won’t.” Alexander continued to lean in closer and brushed Bagoas’ lips with his. “I will return as quickly as I can. My heart remains here with Hephaestion, though. Guard him well.”

Bagoas watched Alexander with large, trusting, and loving eyes. He would lay down his life if necessary. 

A moment later, Alexander was gone, off to fight at the front lines once more.

~~~

“Water…”

Hephaestion’s soft voice caught Bagoas’ attention and he turned around to see what Hephaestion needed. He had been readying himself to give his charge a sponge bath and carried the bowl with warm water and a sponge over to the bed. “What is it?”

“I want water,” whispered Hephaestion. He was growing tired of feeling weak and wished his recovery would speed up. With Bagoas’ help, he managed to push himself into an upright position and he drank greedily after Bagoas handed him a glass. His eyes searched the tent, quickly realizing Alexander wasn’t present. “Where did he go?” 

“He left to join his men on the battlefield,” replied Bagoas, informing Hephaestion in a soft voice. He wet the sponge and began to wash Hephaestion’s chest area. “I need to check your wound.” One of the senior officers had shown him what to do and he could tend to Hephaestion’s injury now without the soldier’s help. 

“Cut them away.” Hephaestion drank another glass of water, relishing the feel of cool water running down his dry throat. Alexander had left, which was hardly surprising. Yes, Alexander loved him, but Alexander loved to chase his dream even more. Sometimes, Hephaestion wished that dream didn’t consume Alexander in that way. He would have been happy staying close to Macedon and to simply love Alexander. It was Alexander’s dream he was living, not his own. 

Closing his eyes, Hephaestion tried not to focus on the sound of a blade cutting through the fabric of the bandages. He wouldn’t have allowed Bagoas to use a knife around him not so long ago, but he trusted the eunuch now. Something cool touched his skin and he opened his eyes, surprised to see Bagoas smooth ointment over his chest area. “You remembered,” he whispered, impressed.

“I think it is helping you heal.” Bagoas finished applying the salve and dressed the chest area once more. “You should continue to rest.”

“I don’t have a choice.” Hephaestion's voice sounded lackluster. His only comfort – now that Alexander was gone – was looking at Bagoas and knowing him close. “Alexander doesn’t mind. He wants you to be with me in that way. Alexander plans on sharing you with me.” 

Bagoas lowered his eyes and a blush formed on his face. “I heard.” 

“Do you agree? I would never force you to do anything against your will. If you do not desire me…” Hephaestion didn’t get a chance to finish as Bagoas touched his lips to his in slow, sweet kiss.

“Pleasuring you is my greatest desire,” admitted Bagoas. 

“Pleasuring or pleasing me?” questioned Hephaestion. He didn’t want Bagoas to think that he only wanted the eunuch for his body. 

“Both,” replied Bagoas readily. His gaze remained locked on his hands that were resting in his lap. He didn’t know what Hephaestion wanted him to say; this was new territory for him. Alexander had introduced him to lust. The King had woken feelings of desire in him and so did Hephaestion, but still, this was different. For the first time in his life Bagoas wanted more than mere morsels thrown at him out of pity. But did he have the right to want such a thing? “I think I may love you,” he whispered, barely audible. Hearing Hephaestion suck in his breath, he lifted his eyes and explained, “I don’t think I ever loved before. This is a new feeling.”

“I thought you loved Alexander.” Hephaestion studied the dark eyes and loved the way they darkened to near black.

“I love him like a King should be loved.” Bagoas forced himself to examine his feelings, something he hadn’t done for years. It was easier not to feel. “But what I feel for Al’skander differs from my feelings for you.” Hephaestion’s encouraging smile made him continue. “It is the first time that I feel the need to protect, to explore, and to… possess,” he added, almost hesitantly. 

Hephaestion couldn’t help feeling curious. Alexander had once hinted that Bagoas was talented between the sheets and he wondered what exactly his lover had meant. “What is it like when Alexander and you are together?” 

Bagoas grew increasingly flustered. He hadn’t expected Hephaestion to ask him something so intimate. “I try to please him.”

“In what way?” Intrigued, Hephaestion moved onto his side and smiled at the blushing eunuch. His hand reached for Bagoas’ and he curled his fingers around the trembling limb. Maybe it was time to help. “Does he take you?”

Bagoas wished the floor would open and swallow him. Why did Hephaestion’s questions embarrass him? Pleasuring his master was what he had been trained for – it was his task in life. “Yes, he takes me.”

“Each time?” Hephaestion rubbed the back of Bagoas’ hand, surprised that the eunuch was hesitant to share this information with him.

“Yes, he does.” Bagoas’ voice was barely audible. 

Hephaestion smiled a bit wickedly. “What position does he like to take you in?” Bagoas’ trembling increased and he squeezed the fingers until the eunuch met his gaze. 

Seeing Hephaestion smiling naughtily took away some of Bagoas’ unease. Hephaestion was so different from the men he had served in his life! “Are you teasing me?”

“A little bit,” admitted Hephaestion. “Now tell me.”

“He prefers to take me from behind.” Most of the time, Alexander would maneuver him onto his hands and knees and claim him in that way. “Why do you wish to know?” His eyes searched Hephaestion’s and he weakly returned the other man’s impish smile.

“That is my least favorite position,” stated Hephaestion, fully aware of Alexander’s favorite position as he also frequently found himself on his hands and knees. “It lacks intimacy, don’t you think so?”

“It is not my place to comment on that,” whispered Bagoas, letting his raven hair fall in front of his face. He hid behind this curtain, wishing he would stop feeling flustered. 

“I want you to speak your mind, Bagoas.” Hephaestion raised a hand and pushed Bagoas’ hair aside so he could look into the dark eyes. “Do you like being in that position?”

“It is not my place to like or dislike a position I find myself in. I am here to please my master.”

Hephaestion decided to try a different approach. “I want to see your face the first time we are together, Bagoas. I want to look into your eyes.”

Bagoas’ breath hitched. “You do?” Hephaestion was full of surprises!

“I do.” Hephaestion ran his fingertips along Bagoas’ jaw line. “We will discuss this in depth when I no longer feel tired.” Hephaestion lifted the blanket and said, “Come, join me in bed. I want to feel you close.”

Bagoas removed his robes and climbed into bed with Hephaestion. “Al’skander wanted me to tell you that…” But Hephaestion stopped him by placing a finger against his lips. 

“I think I know what his message entails, Bagoas. I know he loves me and that he wanted to stay. But he is King and needs to lead his army. I understand that.” Hephaestion wrapped his arms around Bagoas and held him loosely. 

Bagoas thought he saw something sad in Hephaestion’s eyes. “You wish things were different?”

“I would have been content to remain in Macedon and help him rule his kingdom. But not Alexander. He always wanted more. He chases his dreams with such passion, with such determination that he sometimes scares me. I lost him to the world a long time ago, Bagoas.” Hephaestion touched his lips to Bagoas in a tender manner. Bagoas reacted and returned the kiss, but Hephaestion kept the kiss light and did not seek entry to Bagoas’ mouth. Bagoas looked at him in puzzlement and Hephaestion smiled. “I want to take my time with you. I want to explore slowly.” 

“No one ever said such a thing to me before.” Bagoas didn’t know how to react. It almost felt like Hephaestion really wanted *him* and not just his body. That would be a first and he wasn’t certain he knew how to respond to that. In the end, he rested his head against Hephaestion’s shoulder, carefully remaining clear of the injured area. He would do his best to please, and pleasure, Hephaestion.

~~~

Bagoas playfully pushed a slice of apple past Hephaestion’s lips. Hephaestion had woken with an appetite and Bagoas had instructed one of the soldiers to bring food. The soldier had returned with a tray filled with fruits, bread, and meats. 

“No wine, water only,” said Hephaestion decisively. They were fortunate they had discovered a spring close from which they could draw water. The horses had drunk first and when they had appeared fine, the soldiers had tried the water. 

Bagoas poured Hephaestion another glass. It pleased him that the recovering man was finally eating and drinking again. “How do you fare? Is your injury still causing you discomfort?”

“Not as much as it did.” Hephaestion pulled Bagoas into bed with him. “You should stay here and not leave all the time.” He rested on his side, propped up on his elbow and his fingertips caressed Bagoas’ hairless face. “Would you kiss me?”

Bagoas liked kissing Hephaestion a great deal. He couldn’t remember ever kissing Alexander as much or as passionate as he now kissed Hephaestion. The other man reacted with tenderness and mild teasing and Bagoas was stunned to feel Hephaestion part his lips and teeth to lure his tongue inside. Usually it was *his* mouth being plundered, being possessed, but not this time. He kissed Hephaestion sensually, taking his time to make love to the persistent tongue that twined around his. They drew apart after long moments because they needed to draw in breath. He saw questions in Hephaestion’s eyes and wondered what puzzled the older man. “I will answer your questions,” he said, telling Hephaestion that he didn’t mind being questioned. 

“The first time I reached out to you was because you suffered from nightmares. I haven’t heard you call out since.”

“Maybe your presence keeps them away?” Bagoas indulged himself and combed Hephaestion’s hair with his fingers. That morning he had finally had his chance to brush the hair and neatly braid it away from Hephaestion’s face. 

“You said you were ten when they cut you,” whispered Hephaestion, uncertain if he should bring this up.

“You really listened.” Bagoas was touched, realizing Hephaestion had taken his nightmares serious. 

“I do not want to pry, but I would like to know…” Hephaestion actually averted his eyes, trying to think of a way to best phrase this awkward question. 

“Can it be that you wish to know if I can still perform? Grow erect?” Bagoas thought he knew what Hephaestion was trying to ask. 

“Yes.” Hephaestion met Bagoas’ gaze once more. “Can you?”

“I am capable of having an erection…if I am properly stimulated.”

Hephaestion cocked his head questioningly. “But you cannot find release in that way.”

Bagoas nodded once – it meant a lot to him that Hephaestion was making an effort to understand. No one else ever had. “But I am not without sensation in other areas.”

Hephaestion’s eyes widened. “You find pleasure in being touched in that way?” Both knew what way he was referring to. Rubbing Bagoas’ prostate would cause an orgasm-like sensation in the eunuch’s lower body and he filed this information away for the first time they would make love. 

“I do.” But hardly any of his ‘lovers’ bothered to give him release in that way. Only Alexander had touched him in that way, but the King didn’t have the patience or desire to do so each time and during many a night he remained unfulfilled. But that was his fate in life. 

“Tell me,” began Hephaestion, rubbing Bagoas’ back in soothing circles. “Are you always on the receiving end?”

“Of course I am.” Bagoas blinked, surprised to see mild shock in Hephaestion’s eyes. “That is what my body is meant for – to be used.”

Hephaestion swallowed hard. “You never took another male?” He knew that Alexander preferred to be on top, but there were also times when his lover loved to be taken and he was always happy to oblige Alexander in such a way, taking him hard and proudly staking his claim. 

“That is not my place,” whispered Bagoas, staring dreamy-eyed at Hephaestion. 

“Do you desire it?”

“I cannot desire it. It is not my place to take, only to give.”

Bagoas’ words worried Hephaestion because of the submissive and accepting tone. /Maybe it is time to change that, Bagoas./ He hadn’t known for certain if Bagoas could grew erect and remain erect long enough to pleasure him in that way. They would find out what worked best for them. They had time to explore, talk, and deepen this relationship. The more time he took to work out the dynamics between them, the sweeter making love would be. 

~~~

“I feel better today. We will go outside.” Hephaestion stood unaided and took a step toward his desk to pick up a tunic. “Bagoas, you are coming with me.” His eyes searched the eunuch’s lithe form and he smiled, seeing Bagoas spin around to look at him in surprise. “We will go for a walk.” Hephaestion thought about taking Bagoas to the nearby river to go for a swim. They had been cooped up for too long. Almost a week had passed by since he had regained consciousness and his chest wound had sufficiently healed for him to stretch his legs. The bandages were still in place, but the skin beneath them looked pink and healthy. 

“Do you want me to bring along a cloak?” Bagoas felt a bit nervous now that they were going outside again. How would the men react to seeing him walk side by side with Hephaestion?

“Bring towels instead.” Hephaestion fastened the tunic around his body and ran his hands down his flanks. Being up again and moving about felt good. He watched as Bagoas gathered towels and ignored the puzzled look the Persian gave him. He wasn’t going to share his intentions yet. Hephaestion raised a hand and curled his fingers around Bagoas’ elegant ones. 

Hephaestion pushed the curtain aside and pulled Bagoas into the sunlight. A cheer erupted from the guards standing the closest to their general’s tent and they raised their hands in greeting. He saw the relief in their eyes – they were glad he was recovering. 

“Where are we going?” Bagoas still felt insecure; although Hephaestion had practically ordered him to ask him questions and talk to him whenever he felt the desire to do so, this freedom took time to get used to. He had lived a silent life at Darius’ court and even Alexander wasn’t always interested in carrying a conversation with him. 

“Oh, you will find out,” Hephaestion replied, teasing Bagoas. His chest still caused him discomfort, but the pain was bearable. He had suffered worse in past wars. 

Bagoas continued to glance about him, still worried that the guards conspired against him. But surely they wouldn’t dare defy their general? They would wait until they could catch him alone! But at least he had a knife to defend himself with. He had concealed Hephaestion’s dagger in the folds of his robes. 

His heart missed a beat, realizing Hephaestion had taken him to the riverside. Why had Hephaestion taken him here? 

“Take off your clothes,” Hephaestion instructed, wiggling an eyebrow. 

Bagoas didn’t feel comfortable removing his robes, knowing that guards were everywhere, probably watching them, but he couldn’t ignore Hephaestion’s direct order. “Must I?”

Hephaestion had already shed his tunic and walked toward Bagoas. 

It still baffled Bagoas that the Greeks were so uninhibited; they seemed to enjoy showing off their bodies and Hephaestion was no exception.

“Remove your robes, Bagoas. I am here with you. I will keep you safe.”

The way Hephaestion said that, in a naughty, teasing tone, made Bagoas’ heart beat faster. “I do not need protection.” But he obeyed and removed his robes, placing Hephaestion’s dagger beneath the fabric on the grass. If they needed the weapon, it would be there.

Hephaestion frowned, seeing the distrust in Bagoas’ eyes and it took him a moment to realize that the distrust wasn’t directed at him. It was meant for the guards who had done little to gain Bagoas’ trust. “Come into the water with me.”

“Your bandages will get wet,” Bagoas protested, trying to convince Hephaestion to put their clothes back on and to return to their tent. But Hephaestion wouldn’t be swayed and Bagoas placed his hand in the older man’s, trusting Hephaestion. The water was warm, having had the time to soak up the sun’s warmth. Bagoas’ eyes however, didn’t radiate joy.

And Hephaestion noticed that. Pulling Bagoas close, he rubbed the younger man’s back. “What are you remembering?” 

Bagoas rubbed his cheek against Hephaestion’s shoulder and felt amazed that the older man had gotten to know him so well in such a short time. “I remembered the last time I swam. I still lived with my family back then. I must have been five or six.”

Hephaestion knew better than to inquire about Bagoas’ family and stayed clear of that subject. Opting for a more playful distraction, he allowed himself to fall backward into the water and dragged Bagoas along with him. 

Bagoas’ eyes widened in alarm as he lost his footing. A moment later, Hephaestion pulled him below the surface and now the older man began to tickle his sides. His air escaped him and Bagoas struggled back to the surface, quickly drawing in air. “What are you doing?” He stared at Hephaestion accusingly. 

“Having fun. You should try it once a while, Bagoas.” Hephaestion lunged for Bagoas once more. The frolicking made him forget the discomfort echoing from his chest and his fingers traveled down Bagoas’ abdomen, tickling the eunuch. 

“Stop!” Bagoas didn’t know how to react to Hephaestion’s play. Not even Alexander teased him like this!

Hephaestion tickled Bagoas until the eunuch was begging for mercy. “You are ticklish! I will remember that!” He gave Bagoas a stunning smile. The water reached their waist and he pulled the dark-haired beauty into his arms. Taking his time, he kissed Bagoas, exploring his mouth at leisure.

Bagoas’ toes curled; never before had he tasted such sweet kisses. Hephaestion was always tender with him and he appreciated that. It made him wonder what being with Hephaestion would be like. His desire to please the other man grew and he wondered when Hephaestion would make him his. A part of him craved being taken. 

Hephaestion read fierce emotions in the large, dark eyes. He had taken his time with Bagoas on purpose, refusing to rush this. He wanted Bagoas to know that it wasn’t just his body that he craved; that he also enjoyed spending time with him and it appeared that his strategy had worked. 

“Will you take me now?” Bagoas had never asked someone to take him before. Not even Alexander had he beseeched to make him his. With Alexander, he always remembered protocol and followed it as much as he could, but with Hephaestion that didn’t seem to apply. Hephaestion’s gentle nature had reached his heart.

“Would you like that?” They had left the water behind them and Hephaestion pulled Bagoas along when he sat down on the grass. He felt touched, feeling Bagoas sit beside him and then lean into him, molding himself to his form. The raven hair was dripping wet and tiny droplets hugged the soft skin. Bagoas truly was an exquisite vision!

Bagoas averted his eyes and nodded his approval. “I would.” His cheek rested against Hephaestion’s shoulder and his fingertips moved down the flat abdomen to brush against the head of Hephaestion’s manhood. Hephaestion was erect and Bagoas hoped that the other man didn’t plan on taking him here on the riverbank for all to see. “Can we go back to your tent?” The fact that he took control of their situation, no matter how marginally, shocked him. It wasn’t like him to guide his lover’s actions. “I am sorry. It is not my place to…” Hephaestion kissed him passionately, stopping him from apologizing. The strong fingers moved through his hair and Bagoas sighed contentedly. 

“Why aren’t you hard, Bagoas? Don’t you desire me in turn?” Hephaestion wasn’t comfortable deepening their intimacy until he had received a satisfying answer.

Bagoas coughed, trying to cover up his embarrassment. “I do desire you.”

“But?”

“I need more stimulation to grow erect. It is a bit complicated.” Hephaestion placed a finger beneath his chin and Bagoas raised his head, looking into the caring eyes. “But I do desire you. Please do not doubt that.” 

“We should not do this here,” Hephaestion whispered, caressing Bagoas’ lips with a fingertip. “You are right; we should return to my tent. We will continue this in privacy.” He read relief in Bagoas’ eyes and realized that being intimate with him in public had bothered him. His fingers examined Bagoas’ throat, searching for any scars the cuts might have left behind, but he found none. The ointment had helped heal the skin. 

Bagoas allowed the examination, knowing Hephaestion was checking on him out of concern. “It has completely healed.” His large eyes focused on Hephaestion; he still wanted to know what the other man had done to the guard who had injured him.

Hephaestion recalled Bagoas’ asking him about the guard before and now he read the same question in the brown eyes. “I ordered him to join Alexander’s forces at the front line,” Hephaestion said, eventually. “He won’t bother you again. I assure you that he has learned his lesson.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Bagoas couldn’t resist temptation much longer and leaned in closer to steal a kiss from Hephaestion’s lips. Never, not even with Alexander, had he done so much kissing!

“We should return to my tent before I take you right here and now,” Hephaestion hinted with much mischief in his voice. Bagoas grew flustered, making him only more desirable in Hephaestion’s eyes. “Hand me my tunic, Bagoas.”

Bagoas regretted pulling back, but the thought of continuing this in the privacy of Hephaestion’s tent made him eager to assist Hephaestion into his tunic. Following Hephaestion’s example, Bagoas rose from the grass and pulled his robes close. Hephaestion taking hold of his hand was another surprise, but a welcome one and Bagoas allowed himself to be led to their tent. 

~~~

During their walk, Hephaestion considered his options. He had learned enough about Bagoas to know that life had been hard on the Persian slave. He had been trained to please Darius and before that, his so-called master had lent him to his customers. There hadn’t been much love or pleasure in Bagoas’ life. Alexander was one of the bright lights in Bagoas’ life, but he knew his lover well enough to realize that Alexander took what he wanted. Alexander wouldn’t always consider Bagoas’ needs and tonight, Hephaestion wanted that to be different. He wanted tonight to be about Bagoas. 

He led Bagoas into the tent and closed the curtain. He then turned around and shrugged out of his tunic. Naked, he stood in front of Bagoas, whose eyes shone with desire. His agile fingers quickly removed Bagoas’ robes and his eager eyes took in the perfect body. It was easy to understand why Bagoas had been Darius’ favorite. “Let me touch you…” he said, placing his hands palm down on Bagoas’ chest. Beneath his touch the younger man tensed. “What is wrong?” He pressed his body close to Bagoas, folding one arm around the waist, and allowed the other to sneak up behind the eunuch’s back. 

Bagoas fought to draw in his next breath. “Usually it is the other way around.”

Hephaestion cocked his head and nodded once. “You are used to pleasing the one you are with. And now it is the other way around. I am bent on pleasing you.” Bagoas didn’t know how to react to that. 

Bagoas felt weak in his knees now that Hephaestion was rubbing his lower body against his groin. “I should be pleasuring you.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Hephaestion purred. “I am determined to make you scream my name tonight.” He used his hold on Bagoas to lower him onto the bed. Bagoas’ long legs parted invitingly and he knelt in-between them, running his fingers along Bagoas’ inner thighs. Just what kind of stimulation made Bagoas hard? Hephaestion grinned and cupped Bagoas’ lax member in his hand. “Will you scream for me, Bagoas?” Hephaestion then leaned in closer, let his tongue dash out and ran the tip along the head of Bagoas’ member. 

Bagoas sucked in his breath. Only once before had he known this pleasure and that had been years ago when Oromedon had taught him how to pleasure his future master, the Great King Darius. But back then he had been forced to concentrate on his teacher’s technique and he had not been allowed to truly savor the sensation. 

“Enjoy,” Hephaestion whispered, letting his voice vibrate around the head of Bagoas’ member, which was slowly stiffening. Peeking at Bagoas’ face, he saw surprise and the first signs of rapture there. Concentrating on his task, he relaxed his throat muscles and took Bagoas completely. The flesh continued to grow hard and Hephaestion swirled his tongue around the column of flesh. At the same time, he stroked at the base of the hardening member. 

Bagoas could only stare at Hephaestion’s bobbing head. The fact that Hephaestion seemed to enjoy pleasuring him in this way took his breath away and he stroked the strands of auburn hair, which caressed his groin whenever Hephaestion moved. 

Hephaestion let the hard flesh slip from his lips, but not before bestowing more licks onto the head. Normally, he would taste pre-ejaculate by now but not with Bagoas. He remembered that Bagoas couldn’t find release in this way and reached for the vial filled with oil which he always kept close to his bed in case Alexander paid him a surprise visit. “Do you still want me to take you, Bagoas?” 

Bagoas felt high on passion and nodded fervently. “Please…” He began to turn onto his stomach, but Hephaestion stopped him and he looked questioningly at the older man. 

“I want to see your face when we make love, remember?” Hephaestion uncapped the vial and poured the sweet-scented oil onto his hands. “Let me do this.”

Bagoas swallowed hard. Hephaestion was already making love to him with words and his eyes. “I want you,” Bagoas whispered, his voice husky with passion. He closed his eyes in bliss, feeling Hephaestion massage his outer ring, causing him to relax further. In the past, he had been taken with violence and even loathing, but never with such dedication. 

Hephaestion stretched out beside Bagoas and kissed him. He used that moment to push the first digit past the guardian muscle and Bagoas arched his back, already trying to impale himself on the finger. “Not yet…” 

Bagoas stared in rapture and open admiration at Hephaestion. The azure eyes shone with affection and the pupils had dilated. “You do not need to…” Again, he was silenced and he dismissed any intentions of trying to guide Hephaestion. It was obvious that the other man wanted to do this in his own time and pace. That finger moved inside him, searched for the spot that would fill him with pleasure and when Hephaestion’s fingertip brushed it, Bagoas whimpered with need. 

Judging Bagoas sufficiently relaxed, Hephaestion added another finger and began to stretch Bagoas. The passage loosened around his fingers and Hephaestion mimicked a thrusting action, constantly rubbing Bagoas’ prostate. 

“Please…” 

Bagoas’ soft whisper was the sign to take the next step and Hephaestion removed his fingers. Returning to a kneeling position between Bagoas’ legs, he coated his member with the oil. Hephaestion took himself into hand and positioned himself for penetration. One hand moved beneath Bagoas’ knee and he lifted the leg, pulling his lover closer. 

Bagoas’ fingers clawed at the sheet and he sucked in his breath, feeling Hephaestion breach him. Other men had violently pushed inside, not caring if he was in pain, but Hephaestion paused, allowing him to adjust to the sensation. He fought back the tears which threatened to spill from his eyes. Crying wouldn’t do during such a perfect moment. “More… please.”

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and pushed deeper inside. Once more, he stilled, letting Bagoas grow accustomed to the invasive feeling. Taking Bagoas in such a slow, sensual way demanded concentration and discipline and he forced himself *not* to thrust yet. He wouldn’t do that until he was fully sheathed inside Bagoas’ body. 

Bagoas whimpered, surrendering to Hephaestion's slow pace. There was no pain. There was pleasure and bliss – the feeling of being loved. 

Hephaestion grunted and finally buried himself to the hilt inside the loose passage. By taking his time, he was giving Bagoas pleasure and not pain. “Are you ready?” Hephaestion lowered Bagoas’ leg back onto the bed and covered his lover’s body with his. He pushed his hands beneath Bagoas’ back and held him close. 

Bagoas reacted by wrapping his arms around Hephaestion’s shoulders and his legs around the older man’s waist. Hephaestion had chosen a very intimate position to make love in. They could still kiss – which they eagerly did – and his member still got enough friction between their bodies for him to remain hard. Hephaestion made love to him – slowly and sensually. Not in haste, not in lust, but with passion and tender consideration. 

Angling each thrust so it rubbed Bagoas’ prostate Hephaestion rocked more than thrust. The gentle movement had its desired effect and pushed Bagoas over the edge. Hephaestion groaned into Bagoas’ hair when his lover’s inner muscle contracted around his length. The sensation overwhelmed him and he climaxed with his lips pressed against Bagoas’ throat, suckling the tender skin between his teeth. He cradled Bagoas in his arms and whispered softly, telling him how much he cared for him. 

Bagoas failed to hold back his tears and they left his eyes, flowing down his cheeks. 

Feeling the wetness against his face Hephaestion released the skin and looked Bagoas in the eyes. His heart faltered, seeing the tears and tasting their salty flavor on his tongue. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No, you didn’t. You made me happy, Hephaestion.” Bagoas loved speaking the other man’s name in such an intimate setting. “You made love to me.” 

“I tried my best,” Hephaestion replied impishly. His member was softening and he slowly pulled out. Bagoas however, was still hard. “You found pleasure in that act, didn’t you?” He had felt the contractions around his length. 

“I did,” Bagoas confirmed, running his long fingers down the curve of Hephaestion’s spine. Feeling free and relaxed, he couldn’t help returning Hephaestion’s teasing. “Did you enjoy taking me? I always wonder what it feels like.”

Hephaestion’s eyes narrowed and then became alive with a startling blue intensity. “Ah, I almost forgot.” Bagoas was still erect and so Hephaestion carried out his original plan. He reached for the vial once more and considered Bagoas. In the end, he nodded to himself and poured a generous amount of oil onto his hands. 

Bagoas hissed in surprise, forgetting everything he had been taught when Hephaestion rubbed the oil onto his member. “What are you…?” Words failed him, seeing Hephaestion raise himself and position himself above his erection. Hephaestion reached below him, curled his fingers around his member and guided him inside. Hephaestion’s action took him by surprise and he could only stare at how the other man impaled himself on his member. This was the first time that another man allowed him inside and he finally knew what it felt like to have – to possess. 

Hephaestion went slowly, wanting Bagoas to savor the experience and once he was seated on his lover’s lap, he smiled at him. “I want to give you this,” Hephaestion whispered, leaning in closer to kiss Bagoas. “But you need to cooperate, Bagoas. You need to thrust.”

“I have never… never before…” Bagoas felt breathless and was unable to move. 

“Then I will move for you,” Hephaestion whispered, sensually. He raised himself and then impaled himself again, setting a slow and pleasing rhythm. Keeping in the back of his mind that Bagoas couldn’t find release in this way, he focused on his own need and rocked atop the younger man. 

Bagoas placed his hands on Hephaestion’s hips, trying to steady him when his lover swayed. Seeing Hephaestion tremble with desire, he knew he had hit his target; the tip of his member was rubbing Hephaestion’s prostate. 

It took Hephaestion long minutes before his member grew aroused again. Climaxing that first time had zapped much of his strength and his release now came slowly and almost caused him to faint. Seed erupted from the head of his shaft and he collapsed atop of Bagoas. Long, welcoming arms wrapped around him and he rested his head against Bagoas’ hairless chest. “Did you like it?” One look at Bagoas’ sated expression told him all he needed to know.

“I never thought…” Bagoas actually purred with pleasure. 

“You are still hard.” Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow. “Give me a moment to recover and we will make love again.” Bagoas’ eyes, already bright with affection and belonging, remained locked with his. “Yes, this was your first time, but it will certainly not be your last. I will make sure of that.”

And all Bagoas could do was embrace Hephaestion tighter and kiss the man who had upended his world and accepted him for who he was. Hephaestion’s tenderness had unlocked his heart and for the first time in his life he felt whole. 

The end


End file.
